Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
(Reposted with some separated paragraphs so it's easier to read, I hope this helps guys!)
So today is full of mixed emotions but right now I am very anxious. Not necessarily upset or sad but just nervous. So I will start by describing last night and go from there.
So last night was awful and so was the night before. But last night I had a horrible awful headache right behind my right eye and in the back of my head. I've been getting these on and off lately and I'm thinking it's from stress. I was also just really naseuas I didn't eat very much yesterday. So I took an ibuprophen even though I really don't like doing that as I think it's caused me health problems in the past. So once it kicked in I finally got to sleep.
The morning was okay not much really happened but just an hour or two ago my mom came in and said she was about to go to the gas station. She was like can you do something for me? And I said sure, she asked me to sit in the car with lake and she would turn it on and back up a little bit and pull forward. I was really really hesitant but she kinda just grabbed lake and put him on a leash and I followed. I just kept saying I don't know over and over and once I got in and she was about to start the car I just started crying like I couldn't hold it in anymore I was very scared.
She didn't end up turning on the car or moving it or anything but she still was happy I tried. I've sat in the car when it wasn't on before though so I didn't feel like it was an accomplishment. One of the reasons I am so scared to try and get better is that I don't want to cry in front of anyone I hate people seeing me break down it makes me feel horrible. So after that I just kinda went inside and went to the bathroom for a sec to make myself look like I wasn't just crying.
Then 10 mins later I decided to finally bake slutty brownies (I know it's a weird name but I finally have the Oreos so I wanted to try it) I was just finished making the cookie dough and my aunt came over and was carrying a bunch of stuff. Didn't think much of it because her and her husband are always bringing us food like all the time.
She came in and said she had stuff for me and I was a little confused. She said her daughter wanted me to bake her wedding cake so my aunt decided to get me this huge cake decorating set with literally everything I've ever wanted for baking inside of it and a fondant decorating set and baking supplies. I just successfully baked cupcakes for the first time a few days ago a wedding cake is a humongous gigantic thing I am not confident in my skills at all. She said the wedding would be small and has no idea when it'll be. I am excited to have so much stuff to practice with but I feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulders now I was never asked if I wanted to do this or if I could do it just dropped on me.
And if I don't do it I will feel so bad because I can guarantee you all those supplies costed a fortune like it is a huge nice set she got me so much and I am very greatful I said thank you like a million times but idk where to even start. The cupcakes I made weren't even that good like barely anyone ate them at all and I honestly felt kinda bad. Just a few cupcakes took me two days imagine how much practice and research I'll have to do for a freaking wedding cake.
I'm trying to keep my cool bc if I over think this and let anxiety take control I'll never do it and this is a great opportunity I have all the supplies I could ask for but at the same time this is just a very anxiety filled day and I do not know what to think. I usually get very anxious when baking because one of the things I'm scared of is being stuck in situations, even if I'm alone I can't just leave a half mixed thing on the counter with a mess of ingredients around it. Idk the feeling of not being able to just walk away and rest if needed sticks with me constantly so baking has been a hard thing to get used to even though i love it so much.
So yeah if anyone has some kind words to help calm this anxiety that would be lovely. Like I said I'm not necessarily upset because this could be fun I'm just extremely nervous. Honestly kind of feel like I'm gonna panic right now
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
I'm proud of you for trying to help out with Lake. On my own recovery road I have used allot of "Exposure Therapy" to help me master my phobias. Each step in each of my rounds of exposure therapy has been an itsy bitsy baby step that is far to small to earn me a trophy, butttttttaaaa. . . Mastering fear is no small feat and those itsy bitsy baby steps do add up when I keep on stepping. Congratulating myself and accepting congratulations from my therapy supporters for each small step adds positive reinforcement to each small victory.
As for the wedding cake? ? ? I come from a long line of bakers so accomplished that I am afraid to even try. That long line of bakers is laughing at your aunt from beyond the ghostly divide and wondering if she has any more ignorance to flaunt. You are absotively right that it is no small feat.
WHEN I have been put in your position from people who assume genetics are enough to pass on those epic baking skills, I have found a baker who CAN accomplish the task and made the professionally crafted cake a wedding gift.
For what it's worth
I see tears as a shower for the soul. I generally don't shower in public, but I make no secret of the fact that I shower often.
Rocking you gently and crying with you. . .
And thank you. I was horribly nervous but we are both going to have to get used to leaving the house together. Small steps are very important. I always feel like my steps are too small. So small that it is ridiculous of me to even ask for help with them. People always want me to take bigger steps and I never know what is best.
And honestly I don't think there is any bakers in my family I've learned everything from YouTube and a little bit from my grandma. I have no idea how I'll pull this off but if anything, I guess I can always say no. It is apparently going to be a small wedding as the groom is very shy (so shy that only 2 or 3 of my family members has met him.) Maybe he also deals with anxiety. So once I get some practice in I will see what she has in mind.
Thank you for the idea of just buying a cake as a gift though I did not think of that. I don't have a lot of money at all but if I had to I could scrape some up I'm sure.
Also I like your take on tears. It makes me feel a little better about crying in front of others. Though probably will always be embarrassing, we all cry and some times you just gotta let it out in front of people.
I know very little about cooking/baking as well. But thankfully I do have the internet to learn from with tons of free resources so I'm trying to use that to my advantage. I honestly don't even know what is expected of me I wasn't given many details at all.
But thank you I am gonna try to have a good day. I hope you have a great one too!
I have never mastered the baking skills which run in my family, but I am not above making a crazy cake for a quiet soul who values serenity over pretense. Creativity allowed. The master bakers in my family tree are not creative because they know exactly what they are doing. It is skill, not creative expression.
as for getting in the car! good for you---you went in with the intent to move the car--that's step one. if you feel you'd like to try again--how about just telling your mom you will cry but to keep going... you should be able to cry to let out the stress--and your mom won't judge you for it---I had to call and tell a dr that I was going to cry like a baby throughout the appt---but to please continue and listen and take me seriously--even though I was a mess--and she did! take things in tiny bits-just push out of your comfort zone a bit-then repeat until you are comfortable--the more successes you have, the more courageous you will get!
Here's my take on the cake. First, you've made cupcakes. That's in writing! Excellent first effort!
Making a wedding cake is just making a cake with decorating additions.
A specific cake flavor you can practice until you get it tasting just the way you want it to. Nothing has to be perfect.
Decorating is playing with the different tools and trying out new ideas.
And, you've already got the basics (you can read directions, you can measure, you can bake, and you can put cupcakes together)!
That's a lot of accomplishments!
Your aunt supports you and trusts that you will stay with this to get a wedding cake done - and is willing to be a taster!
That getting in the car is huge. Go for it!
Keep writing everything out!
That excitement is anxiety in a positive direction.