I had my first panic attach 6 years ago. I didnt know what it was so I ignored it hoping it will go away. Eventually it got so bad to the point I'd have one every morning so I started seeing a therapist and went thorugh CBT training for 10 months. My panic attack became very managable after that. The only lingering thing I couldn't conquer was going on airplane and boats, which would cost me a fortune to do exposure practice. Last year Christmas we went to Guatemala and I didn't know they celebrate it by shooting firework all night. I had a terrible panic attack that night. The firework was going in all directions, and the hotel had paper thin wall. After we came back, I started seeing my therapist again and lately I started to feel "normal" again, as in almost no anxiety symtoms. Last night was July 4th here and I almost had another panic attack. Whenever these re-triggering happens, I keep wonder, will I ever be ok again? I work really really hard to conquer my panic disorder. I force myself do things that are very anxious for myself for exposures whenever I get the chance (with proper preparation and control). Recently, my husband has been talking about maybe trying for a baby, and it's freaking me out as I am not sure how I will deal with it if my panic attacks start to come back on daily basis like before. 

Both my husband and my therapist keep telling me how much progress I've made and that it's all in my head that I am not normal, but only I know, how much I still struggle, I still do things to keep practicing the things I learned in therapy. How unplanned events still sets me on edge, how the thoughts of "oh this might trigger me" is on my mind 24/7.

Is someone here like me, who is almost ok, but never really 100% ok? And did someone here went through pregnancy and had panic attacks? How did you deal with it?