Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

23,095 Members
43,236 Posts
1 Online
Anxiety Disorders
/ Anxiety Support Group

Wanting to reach out. But should I?

matt9030
matt9030

It's been over two weeks now since my break with my girlfriend has started. I've felt more good about myself and been more relieved and relaxed. I figured out what I want and need out of a relationship and know what I'm going to say when I see her again. I also realized some of the things I had been doing wrong and may have been putting my insecurities upon her without realizing it. 


The break doesn't end for another three weeks which feels like a long time right now but it should come by quickly. But a part of me wants to reach out to her and see how she is doing and possibly talking about shortening our break by a week or two. Some of my friends and family have said this could be a good idea but others say that maybe it's not the best idea and just continue on with the break as it is. 


I've been writing down my thoughts and writing letters to her and I plan on giving them to her when we meet again. Also been seeing a therapist to help me figure out this situation and myself and it's helped quite a bit. 


Should I reach out to my girlfriend and talk to her about this stuff or should I just wait it out? I have my stuff figured out for the most part but I'm not sure if she does. 

HopingCxn
HopingCxn
Just wait. 3 weeks more isn't so long. It sounds like the process is working in that it is helping you grown, so let it keep moving along and stick to the agreed upon time period.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
This is easy. Keep your word. The break was set for a specific time limit. This is for your well-being and setting a better balance for you.

Keep writing it out. Give your self the opportunity to see it as it is in the moment.

And just because you feel you were doing something 'wrong' does not make it 'wrong'-it's a different way to view how changing it could improve your well-being and finding a better way to do those things which now make you uncomfortable with the results.

That's part of learning how working your stuff makes it easier to keep balanced.

Here's to all you're doing!
Prycejosh1987
Prycejosh1987
The answer is obvious. If you really want her you will do what is right and talk to her, and find common ground and also speak your concerns with her. God bless.
Tropicaloo
Tropicaloo
It’s a hard one and without knowing her, it’s very hard to call. If you do decide to contact her maybe it would be best not to overwhelm her with your insights. Just a quick note to say you miss her and can’t wait for the time to be up. Then leave it at that. Good luck
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Just because you are ready, and you don't want to wait, doesn't mean she is ready yet.

Wait the 3 more weeks. If you approach her now, she won't be expecting it and she could get angry and the whole thing could end for good.
KimmyO
KimmyO
I think it's a great idea to write out thoughts, hold on to them to give later and talk over, or to talk with therapist, but the break was needed for a reason, let it ride out. It takes time to change and to decide beyond the immediate want. See if it's just the insecurities talking. Blessings to you both.
PaulBunyan
PaulBunyan
If it were me in that situation, I would wait. Work on yourself in the mean time and make sure you are where you need to be when it comes to yourself. If you have a planned date to come back together, that seems like a great opportunity to share what you felt and what has happened.
Good luck!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • GreenEyes727

    Reality Check

    Posted by: GreenEyes727
    Last Reply: GreenEyes727
    6
    Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job.  It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it.  Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown.  There was a full length mirror in the changing room.  I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like.  It was a reality check.  
  • arfie

    hate holes

    Posted by: arfie
    Last Reply: arfie
    2
    "don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...