About 6 months ago, I went on a few dates with a guy I had met at school.  He seemed nice, still does, and besides being 2-3 years older, I saw no reason not to say yes when he asked me out.  After 2 dates, I knew he wasn't someone I would be interested in romantically, so I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time.  (This was true, though not the most honest explanation).  He asked if we could still be friends, and I said yes.

Over the summer, he texted me a few times, and we had a few friendly converstions.  Once we got back on campus, he asked if I wanted to hang out.  It went well, but I got some vibes that he was trying to push things romantically again.  I understood why he might think that I wanted a relationship now, seeing as I had said that was the reason I didn't want to date in February, so I texted him that night to confirm that I only wanted to be friends.  He responded asking if we could talk on the phone about our unique definitions of what dating was.  He told me he considered dating to be "a little more physically than close friends."  I told him we could be good friends, though I don't think I was clear enough about the definitley-not-more-than-that part. 

Fast forward to a week ago, he asked if we could take a walk in this forest/park nearby.  I said yes, mostly because I had taken a raincheck in the days previous when he'd asked to do something.  During the walk, which started at about 8pm, it grew dark, and I asked if we could turn back soon.  He kept pushing that we go deeper into the woods.  I was getting uncomfortable, but I knew he wasn't a threatening person, so I went along.  At some point in the evening, he got close to me and asked if he could put his arm around me.  I really didn't want him to, but I couldn't bring myself to say no.  Rather, I hestitated and eeked out a little "okay."  He put his arm around my waste with his hand flat against my ribs, and I felt discusting.  

I continued to ask about going back to the entrance, now using the excuse that I had homework to finish up, and he eventually started leading us back.  (I should point out that I don't know my way around massive park, but he runs there often, so he was the only one who knew how to get out).  At this point he asked if he could come over to my apartment to study, and kept trying to get me to take off my mask.  I told him my roommates wouldn't want visitors at this hour, a lie, and kept my mask firmly in place.  Once we got out of the park, he insisted he walk me home.  I told him no several times, and he finally listened about halfway to my apartment.  

I know that I wasn't clear enough about my emotions and feelings.  I needed to be more upfront with him about what I wanted out of our relationship.  After that night, I felt nauseous and gross.  I went home and cried for a bit, then went on a walk with my friend to calm down. Does anyone have any tips on how to be less afraid to say what I mean/feel?  Or how to tell people no? (sorry about the long post :) )