Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Ugh

MP823
MP823

My wife is talking about possibly wanting to foster a dog or cat right now. We already have two cats in a tiny, one bedroom apartment. We live in a crowded city, so the idea of taking a dog out for walks creates a LOT of anxiety for me right now with coronavirus. What if the dog puts something in their mouth, sniffs something, steps on something, etc that's contaminated? I'm going to want to clean the dog constantly to "save us". My OCD/Anxiety dance kicks up like crazy when I think of this. We always talked about getting a dog down the line and I dont know if this is the right time. All I want to do is rescue animals. I'm vegan and it's an obssessive focus for me and triggering on many levels. So to be the one to feel like I need to say "no" right now feels so terrible and conflicting. I also dont want my anxieties to hold my wife back from experiences she wants. I think she needs something to focus on right now and wants to do some good and probably feels fostering would be that. I mean, cats now have coronavirus - what if the foster comes in and has it and gives it to our two cats? It's all a big deal. Fostering is bringing another family member into the home (what if the other two cats don't get along with the new one? etc) If we didn't have any other pets I'd be more open to it right now. But I'm anxious and terrified on a daily basis and I dont know that now is the right time, though I dont know want to turn my back on any animals that might need homes. It's all so frustrating.

Thor2008
Thor2008
Talk with your wife about how you are feeling about getting a dog. Use your arguments you used in the post and show her how this dog would affect your lives. I love dogs and I want one more than anything but the house we have is not set up for a dog. The time is just not right now for a dog... so we are waiting.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
I understand your feelings and writing them out is important.

It truly depends on that feeling of "foster" what it means to both of you. The cats will welcome a new member with a period of adjustment.

Best wishes, whatever decision you and your wife come to.
laurie32
laurie32
Maybe you have a long talk with her. Tell her how you feel and think. Maybe you could get a bird or something for her take care of. Sound like you already have alot of pets in a small place. Pets cost alot of money. Pets need alot of love and time to take care of them too. We here have 3 dogs. We lost one of are dog on Saturdays. That is so hard on us. We are still miss him. The dog was a great dog. The dog was only 3 year old.
SunnierDays
SunnierDays
I agree with the other comments. Your hearts are in the right place, but the timing may be wrong. I too had a dog, but I made the difficult decision to surrender her back to the shelter a month or two ago because she had aggressive tendencies and I couldn't let her out in the yard because we haven't fenced it in yet.


I would say, treasure your other pets you have at the moment and ride out the storm. When its over, you can go get your extra pets. In the meantime, why not get a pet besides a cat or dog. How about a lizard or something? That was you can satisfy your need to lend a helping hand to animals in need.


Look at it with pure rationality. In your set of circumstances, the risk outweighs the benefit right now, so postpone it.
TLM
TLM
Postpone it, be honest with your wife, She will understand, and it is exposing you more in the virus. It’s already a stressful time.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
All good replies you have gotten already and I will just add to that, that you said she said "is talking about possibly wanting.." Sounds like she is not definite either. So just tell her "now is not a good time with the virus and other financial concerns, so why don't we wait a bit and talk about it again later?"

As already posted, things are stressful enough right now in our lives. You can revisit this discussion in as little as a month from now. Don't do anything impulsive and have regrets later.

Best wishes!
carlyj1202
carlyj1202
You will become so attached and it is always sad to lose a friend.
I will never own a precious pup again....especially now.
peterthegreat
peterthegreat
How about buying a social robot?
sunandbutterflies
sunandbutterflies
I would encourage you to be honest with your wife about how you are feeling. I would be bothered more about my significant other not feeling able to share his feelings than I would about postponing having a pet.
mfb
mfb
I think you should discuss it openly with your wife. I believe that one of the best ways to reduce anxiety is to share your fears, concerns etc., with people you love and that love you.
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