Well, I'm having a hysterectomy (probably spelled wrong) done. And I'm scared to go through with it. I hate needles, I mean with a passion. I'm like a big ol' baby when it comes to needles. I'll admit it, I have no shame. But to be sliced open, a part of your body removed, and sewn up again, I can barely comprehend. Deep down inside, I don't want to go through with this.  But I know it must be done. I feel anxious, even a little distressed. I have requested my partner be there to help me through this. I can't do this one alone. It's too big of a deal.  I feel like a child going through this, because I'm such a big ol' baby when it comes to pain. Inside pain, I can handle. Outside pain, not so much. I'm facing this problem head on, and I can't seem to put my big girl panties on, and just trudge through this. I'm dragging my feet at every turn. I feel so frustrated with myself. 

On another hand, I let a friendship go last night. We had only been friends a year, but to me, it seemed the relationship was toxic. She never took responsability for her actions, and went as far as to insult my partner and I and laugh it off like it was a joke. I finally told her to piss off last night. Can't really say I miss her. It felt good to let that woman go do her own thing, and leave me and mine alone. I think I was more pissed she didn't take responsability for her problems but more made someone else the problem and not herself. But to shuck off this friendship, and left me more than a little relieved. I thought I would feel bad or something. I'm more than a little shocked I don't feel bad for anything. I hate losing frienships, but this seemed like it was a needed thing. So that's my stuff today. Tomorrow is another day, I suppose.