Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My emotions are gyrating wildly this morning. I often visualize my mood swings as a penduluum on a grandfather clock. Back and forth, back and forth, from one extreme to the other in endless motion. This morning the penduluum has hopped its track and is swinging in full 360 motion. The clock struck crazy? Again?
As I gently remind myself to stay calm and just breathe, I've been here before, I am less surprised by the emotional gyrations. Not happy, nor comfy. Just less surprised and more comfortably able to navigate my twisted psych waves to tools which help me stabilize instead of running through the yard like Chicken Little, hysterical that the sky is falling.
The trigger was a potentially positive event. I enjoyed a mask-free, up close and personal visit with a fellow senior yesterday. I haven't passed time with an age peer since -- ya know, ya know. I'm still working on the abandonment issues that came from the rats leaving the sinking ship when the politics hit the fan from -- ya know, ya know. The prospect of being an 80 year old soccer mom has not grown less ominous for the redefining of "At Risk." At the start of 2020, I was hearing, "At Risk" in reference to my 3 orphans. These days I am only hearing it in reference to the improbability of my being able to help my 3 orphans over their previously significant risks. My 66 years puts me "At Risk" of the only thing which still counts here in year 2 of 2020. Reminders of my "At Risk" classification are everywhere.
The visitor wasnae a friend. She is the mother of one of Hubby's co-workers. She was only along for the ride while her son conducted business with Hubby. It was a shock to her senior senses to watch 2 year old Baby Sis, Real Time, in living motion. She has stayed buried in her socially distant senior community for enough years that Facebook was her greatest awareness of the Global Shutdown. Proverbial Young Hearts had been the only youth in her life for ? ? ? she couldn't track how many years. Her youngest grandchild is starting college in Fall. She just might grow into a friend. She was kind and compassionate when I lost patience --several times-- with her senior takes on what this year of isolation has been like for me. In the hours we chatted, she didn't have even one tele-doc tale to bore me with.
Not sure what I'm reaching for here. . . Just plying therapy tools and getting ^it^ into writing.
Again, I leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median. I am fine. How are you?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
I try not to be too hard on my fellow seniors for abandoning us in a shower of broken promises, just when we needed them most. I try even harder to be gentle with the people the global shutdown is protecting, from a safe social distance, of course.
buttttttaaaa. . . It hurts like a big bear to have to have non-COVID risk factors on total disregard. Out of sight, out of mind. I reserve the right to type, "Ouch."
Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.