Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I should probably post this in the OCD group, but I am posting here because I really need help and hope that more people will see this here.
I've had OCD since childhood, but an extreme fear of parasites for about 7 years now. Ever since my mom adopted a stray kitten with fleas and I learned that swallowing a flea can give you a tapeworm, I have been terrified of accidentally ingesting a flea. I have gone to great lengths to avoid animals and avoid eating outside to avoid accidentally swallowing one.
Yesterday I was sitting in a small study room in the library at my university, eating my lunch, and I thought I saw something "jump" on my sandwich. I figured it was probably just a crumb. In the past, if I saw anything small and black in my food, or saw anything that I thought moved, I would've thrown out my food. But I finished my lunch. So right after I'm done eating, I look down at my shirt and I see a flea on my shirt. A FREAKING FLEA!!! On my white shirt! I quickly took my napkin and picked up the bug and put it into the Ziploc bag my sandwich was in, so that I could look at it closer, and it definitely was a flea.
I am so upset right now, thinking I might have accidentally eaten a flea. I do not know why there was a flea in the library at my school, with no animals around. Either the building was infested with fleas, and there was more than just the one I saw, or I (or someone else) dragged in the flea on their shoes. I live in Florida, so fleas are a year-round problem here.
But now I am convinced I ate a flea and will now have a tapeworm living inside of me, and I cannot tolerate the thought. I feel disgusted, like I want out of my body. I am terrified and this whole thing just has me wanting to die. I haven't been able to even move myself out of bed all day, and I'm dizzy from anxiety. My mom keeps saying she's going to Baker Act me (admit against my will) to a psych ward, also because my weight is low (I have an eating disorder and I cannot eat because I am so anxious/depressed, so I have no appetite). I cannot focus on school and fear I am falling behind and failing. I feel like I am drowning.
I'm sorry if my problem seems petty or ridiculous. I am just really upset and needed to vent. I don't know what to do, but I am so scared and sad and feel so alone. I have 0 friends and my mom is angry and upset with me because I constantly bombard her with my problems. I feel awful.
I've had OCD since childhood, but an extreme fear of parasites for about 7 years now. Ever since my mom adopted a stray kitten with fleas and I learned that swallowing a flea can give you a tapeworm, I have been terrified of accidentally ingesting a flea. I have gone to great lengths to avoid animals and avoid eating outside to avoid accidentally swallowing one.
Yesterday I was sitting in a small study room in the library at my university, eating my lunch, and I thought I saw something "jump" on my sandwich. I figured it was probably just a crumb. In the past, if I saw anything small and black in my food, or saw anything that I thought moved, I would've thrown out my food. But I finished my lunch. So right after I'm done eating, I look down at my shirt and I see a flea on my shirt. A FREAKING FLEA!!! On my white shirt! I quickly took my napkin and picked up the bug and put it into the Ziploc bag my sandwich was in, so that I could look at it closer, and it definitely was a flea.
I am so upset right now, thinking I might have accidentally eaten a flea. I do not know why there was a flea in the library at my school, with no animals around. Either the building was infested with fleas, and there was more than just the one I saw, or I (or someone else) dragged in the flea on their shoes. I live in Florida, so fleas are a year-round problem here.
But now I am convinced I ate a flea and will now have a tapeworm living inside of me, and I cannot tolerate the thought. I feel disgusted, like I want out of my body. I am terrified and this whole thing just has me wanting to die. I haven't been able to even move myself out of bed all day, and I'm dizzy from anxiety. My mom keeps saying she's going to Baker Act me (admit against my will) to a psych ward, also because my weight is low (I have an eating disorder and I cannot eat because I am so anxious/depressed, so I have no appetite). I cannot focus on school and fear I am falling behind and failing. I feel like I am drowning.
I'm sorry if my problem seems petty or ridiculous. I am just really upset and needed to vent. I don't know what to do, but I am so scared and sad and feel so alone. I have 0 friends and my mom is angry and upset with me because I constantly bombard her with my problems. I feel awful.
I do see a therapist and she's extremely helpful, but we mostly work on other issues I have besides OCD. What type of therapy have you found most helpful? for the OCD? CBT?
The thing that helped me the most is EFT. http://eft.mercola.com/
Also, learning more really helped. I was recently on here terrified about having to go for an MRI. I had nightmares and obsessive thoughts for 4 months before I finally spoke with a specialist and learned I could go in for a 5 minute CT!
I also had fears my heart was out of whack. I went in to the cardiologist and had a quick EKG to learn I was fine.
Sometimes learning more actually helps a lot. On the really weird off chance you wound up with a problem, there are very effective treatments. Does knowing that help at all?
helped me using CAT. Also medication was very helpful.
Barbara
Paul until it stoped working. I had obsessive thoughts and kept
worrying did I Iock the car door, turn off the stove. Was my husband
going to loose his car keys or leave his car lights on when I wasn't
with him and on and on. Between the therapy and meds I improved
a whole lot. I also have generalized anxiety disorder and for years
my husband would get angry and impatient with my anxiety and worries. He doesn't know what it feels like and didn't understand. Finally he is beginning to get that I have a disorder and get more
understanding.
Barbara
Razor - the therapy you had does sound really helpful. I know if we can change our thoughts, we can change the way we feel about situations. I am really glad it's helped you out.
TC40 - the depression is so difficult. I hate hearing that you can relate. Is there anything you have found that helps you?
Reed - EFT...I have heard of that before, but do not know what it's about. I should research more about it instead of looking up more stuff on worms (which I have spent countless hours doing over the years). I know so much about tapeworms, it's insane. I know they aren't even serious and that treatment is simple and effective, which does help my worries somewhat. My fear is that I will not know I have this worm growing inside me, or that nobody will believe me to treat it.
Leigh42 - Just knowing that I am not the only one with this worm fear helps a great deal, so thank you. It hurts me that others worry about this same thing, but I don't feel as ashamed knowing that others have the same fear. I am often hesitant to talk to my therapist about this because I feel like it's gross and she may think I am strange. But knowing others are afraid of the same things makes me realize it's not strange after all.
Edger - That's wonderful CBT and medication has helped you. I have tried Prozac, but it was not for me. I have always been afraid of meds, afraid they might change my personality or make me gain weight, but it is getting to the point where my thoughts are ruling my life, and I think I am ready to at least give another medication a try. I figure at least that way, I can make a more informed decision as to whether or not I want to take something.
I am glad your husband has grown to understand your disorder better. I know my family members get frustrated with me at times too. I think it's hard to understand the thoughts when you don't have them yourself. I know your family loves you. In fact, he probably only gets frustrated because he loves you so much and hates knowing you're hurting.
Sorry that was long...I just really appreciate each and every one of your replies, and wanted to respond to each one individually.
Most of the tests are simple and inexpensive. Insurance covers most of it but sometimes I'll need to shop around for other tests I want that aren't covered.
If you find a doctor who is open to helping you with "peace of mind" visits, it could really help ease your mind. Even if they need to call it treatment for the OCD!
Keep in mind that it keeps the doctor in business to have people come in for appointments. And it keeps labs in business to do tests. Typically people aren't going to tell you "no" unless the test is very expensive/invasive/dangerous.
I did have this fear several years ago, and got my doc just to give me the treatment for the worms (it's a simple pill). I am wondering if she might do it again for me. Although I know this is probably giving into the ocd, it would put my mind at ease.