Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Separation

OllieTree
OllieTree

Two days ago, I, uh, stopped dating my boyfriend. I don’t like to use the term “broke up” because it has negative connotations. 



Well, it was my first relationship, then my first end of a relationship. It lasted a little over a year. We didn’t stop because of anything really going wrong. I just stopped feeling the same way as I used to. It felt wrong to keep going on when I didn’t return those feelings anymore. It would have been lying to him and to me.



At least, I knew that before I told him, but now I’m suddenly having doubts. I know there’s no going back, but I keep thinking about what I’ve lost now. Things are so awkward. We’re still friends, but I can’t think of anything to say and he’s really quiet. We still see each other everyday, and everything’s the same except it’s not anymore. 



He was hurt, of course he was, he was really invested in us but I wasn’t and I couldn’t force myself to be. But he respected my decision gallantly. Kindly. I doubt I’ll ever find such a nice and caring guy again. 



But towards the end I was just too busy, the relationship was too much pressure, we were too different, and we’re both bad at communicating. I guess, as people say, it just “wasn’t meant to be.” That doesn’t mean I’m not really sad about it though. 



Can anyone share their own experiences, or offer advice? Moving on, how you felt, etc. 


StarBrightGal
StarBrightGal
I must say you’ve done something remarkable: You were able to stay friends with him. You sound like a strong young woman. You never know, it could just be break, you could be meant to be or you could totally be the friends you are now. I recommend not putting pressure on yourself. Do something relaxing.
Star.
StarBrightGal
StarBrightGal
Plus I wouldn’t even think about moving on yet. I think it’s much too soon and could be a rebounder and you’re still his friend. You wouldn’t want to hurt him I’m sure.
Star.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
First loves are very powerful. It's a fond memory that you will always cherish. I was with my first boyfriend at age 15. Thought "this is it" and we were going to get married when I turned 18. But like you said, we grew apart...we grew up. He and I broke up amicably. 25+ years later, we got back in contact and were good friends until he suddenly and sadly passed away, but my point is, we became friends again later in life. We both moved on with other partners. Take some time for yourself, cherish the memory of your relationship fondly, and you're only 16, you will have lots of new memories ahead of you! :) Be grateful that you two had such a good relationship and that now you are friends, and it's time to move on, and that is what usually happens to most people's first relationships. You'll be fine :)
arfie
arfie
One of my own recurring groans in life is, "Why can't life be simple?" It seems like whatever best guess I go with has doubts and drawbacks attached.

Gentle empathy for the difficulty of those choices and steadying support while you navigate the doubts and drawbacks.

Why can't life be simple?
baileyf14
baileyf14
I am sorry you are going through this. Relationships can be very hard sometimes. It is good that you did what you felt you had to. My advice would be to give it some time and focus on yourself for a while. When the time comes, and you still want to be with him, then go for it again! I hope everything works out.
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