My heart really goes out to you. I did go through a similar situation, I had a job when I started having panic attacks. I ended up quitting the job because i couldn't deal with having to go there and being afraid an attack would strike (I was taken out of there by ambulance once and just couldn't go back after that). I did end up moving back home to my family and friends, and it was a really good decision for myself. It really helped my anxiety, and for me it was just what I needed. With their support I was able to deal with the anxiety and get back on my feet. It's not any type of failure at all for you to move home, it takes courage to look at your situation honestly and do what you need to do to be true to yourself and take care of yourself. ((hugs)) here if you ever need to chat.

Penyy, Chelle is right. I empathize with you. Had to recently leave a job because it was one of the direct sources of allowing my anxiety to get out of control. So much more happy for it. Even though I lost crucial material things (income, insurance, etc.) it brought that thing we as sufferers of anxiety so often crave, relief! I'd love to hear more of your story. I too had an incredible support group but often ran away from their help. I'm still learning why I did, but also not overanalyzing the situation because that causes me great anxiety. The job simply wasn't for me, no big deal. Remember, you can't take a step if you're still standing in the mud, does that make sense? I hope so. If we continue to talk I'll go more into my story but now it's about you so let me relay to you what I've been doing since and how it's helped my anxiety. First I honestly reached out and even have fought at times for others help. Second I've been eating (sometimes forcing myself to) three times a day, drinking alot of water ( to help my meds circulate in my system), and exercising. I've also been doing things that I consider fun. Swimming, Singing, Laughing, not taking things so seriously. Laughing at your illness tends to make it go away. From a third person perspective moving back home probably would benefit you greatly. It doesn't make you a failure, it doesn't make you weak, actually in the end it will make you stronger. Life is full of Trial and Error and that's how we learn what to and not to do. You are not alone (even when your mind is screaming at you that you are), it's simply not true. We are all humans with limitied brains who can only do what we can at the present time. We work with what we've got. By seeking help (like you are doing now) you'll start creating patterns that take you further and further away from a disabling case of anxiety. If you truly believe you are disabled, taking the proper steps and doing the work yourself (to the best of your ability) is going to show your doctor that you honestly want help and he or she is going to honor that. That is my experience. Lastly, Time takes Time. Learn to relax and just be grateful and enjoy the momemt. Alot of anxiety comes from thinking about the future. Many times when we are riddled with anxiety we tend to focus on what we percieve to be a "negative future." This creates more anxiety until the point where it can become paralyzing (sometimes even physically, I have experienced and witnessed it). Actually right now I am experiencing anxiety and today I will talk to my doctor about it. This will allow me to be honest about my situation and honestly seek help. I hope this helps you through the day. That's all we have, Today. You get a Huge Hug from me, A friend request, and my all honest empathy, I've been there and want you to know there is hope for you.

Sincerely,

John Wyatt.

I agree with what everyone has said, it is a true measure of your strength to be able to say, moving back home is the best for me.

Anxiety deals with "fight or flight", and it takes a lot of work to get it back within normal range once it goes in overwhelming mode.

Best wishes!

Thanks everyone. appreciate the replies. i am happy to move back home. i'm accepting it as the best choice for me. i'm just nervous about being out of work right now. i wish i could afford to quit my job and enjoy the rest of my time here until we decide to move back. but i HAVE to go to work soon or else i'm going to be broke. that's what i worry about. i know this job isn't for me and i know it's causing more harm than good. but i'm trapped...

Is the disability an option for now? It sounds like your dr agrees with you that the job is not healthy for you. I know what it's like to have a job that creates so much stress (don't have that currently but did in the past( and it is so hard. Hang in there.

im still waiting to hear from my doc but it should be an option as long as she agrees to fill out the forms and send them to my work. who knows when i'll see the money but it will make me feel better knowing i'll get it. i also feel like a jerk going on disability and then having to give my notice in the next 2 weeks since we plan on leaving to move back home around sept 15th...

Don't worry about that, you've paid into the system, that's what it's there for is to help people when they need it and you definitely need it right now. I think you need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself right now.

I was out 3 months 5 years ago. I needed that time for myself. This go aound, I havent been able to take that time for myself and I really think thats part of why its taking so long to get through it. I had to take a week off but that was to calm down from the effects from a medication, other than that, Ive been non stop, even working 2 jobs for 6 weeks that ended up being 15 hour days.
I told my therapist that I just needed 2 weeks just me, myself and I and to be able to be away from everybody and everything for those 2 weeks. She agreed it would be helpful but like you, I cant afford it since Im having to pay for medications and doctors and therapy, etc.