Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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No motivation to get better

Frogsoup
Frogsoup

I am kinda afraid to talk about this because I'm scared people will think I'm lazy. I have a hard time telling if I'm just lazy or if I'm justified in my feelings. But basically I don't really have much motivation for life outside of what it is now (never leaving my house just staying here and not becoming a part of the world) I don't think it's possible for me to have a job or learn to drive. There was a time when I was trying so hard but it kept getting worse and I just lost all hope. I feel like the fact I'm even reaching out and pushing myself to ask for options for therapy is in a way me trying but I don't think I'm trying hard enough. I feel like if there's no reason to get better why put myself through all of that stress and suffering if it won't make me happy and fulfilled. After being here so long I feel no interest in having real life friends or doing anything I don't think my life will amount to much. Recently I've had a small thing that's been giving me a bit of motivation but it's something I'm not 100% sure of being an option for me so I'm keeping my hopes low. I guess what I'm trying to say is, am I lazy for feeling like I need some sort of motivation to make me want to get better? Do you believe that you can only get better if you genuinely want to and have something in you like a drive that is pushing you? I believe that but I feel like everyone else doesn't and I just can't find my drive. Sorry if this is a bit long I've been on a kick of typing out my feelings lately but it's been making me feel bad because I feel like I'm bad for feeling this way. 

penpen
penpen
You’re not lazy. It sounds like you have depression and that’s not something which is your fault. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain. I know I can’t think of anything positive or push myself to be motivated if I know my brain is depressed. The positive thoughts just don’t come from a depressed place. I would talk to your Dr about how you are feeling. You may need therapy and you may need medication to lift your mood and help you get to a better place mentally to make good choices from.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I don't think you're lazy. I know that having anxiety is frustrating and it can feel disappointing... and that's not being lazy.

Last week you said you were going to have a social worker come to your house, has that happened yet? You are only 17 years old and believe me, there is a whole life ahead of you, with lots of fun and adventures to be had!!

Keep writing your feelings, that helps. Have you talked to your doctor about this? Medication for depression and anxiety can help, if your doctor thinks it's okay for you to take it.

Hang in there, you are doing great! You keep pushing ahead, and keep trying!
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Thank you guys! I have always been a bit wary to talk about "being depressed" because I haven't been diagnosed with it and I don't want to self diagnose. But there are some times when I feel depressed but they are usually worse than this. This is kinda an all the time feeling but I'm not really sad or anything I don't hate my current life it's pretty okay but I just can't see myself living any other way than this. When I would say I am depressed I feel very empty and sad and stuck in life and I constantly feel like I'm about to cry. Whereas I'm pretty okay with never leaving the house because I just don't think it will change anything it will make life worse. I'm not good at wording this stuff but you guys could be right about it being depression I will have to figure out a way to talk to a therapist. I still haven't been able to do that and the social worker didn't come bc my mom cancelled the appointment. I still haven't asked her to make another appointment because I'm a bit nervous I'm trying to figure out how to word the message I want to send her to ask.
shakyinside
shakyinside
Hi frog soup, cute name. If you are happy enough with your current life maybe it’s ok. Some of us are just introverts and happy with a quieter life and our own company. You don’t have to live up to other’s expectations of what you should be doing. However if you want more from life then yes, definitely explore how to change that and therapy may help. You could try setting small goals to see how you go. Good luck finding what works for you.
arfie
arfie
When you are as high-strung as I am, "Lazy" is a good thing. I am tempted to ask for lessons, but I think my high-strung nature is part of a hyper-active metabolism. Science can't 'cure' that one yet and it can't be taught.

As I read your post, I think I noted a pattern which is present in my hyper-activity, as well: the swing between the extremes of trying too hard and not trying at all. When I give up entirely, my hyper metabolism typically propels me to exotic environs. I can no more sit inactive behind a closed door than I can fly to the moon. In my strictly personal case, the psychotherapy approach to these extreme swings was/is seeking a balance between the extremes. I doesn't have to conquer the world in a single leap of tall buildings. A little here and a little there has gotten me much further than either extreme. Those small goals are far easier to manage than the big, sweeping reforms. Ya doesn't have to go forth to master a high power career today. Just open the door and challenge yourself to step through it.

Forgive me if I only projected that extreme swing. It is a HUGE factor in my own illness and I do project it allot.

Gentle support while you sort your own. For what it's worth, your post wasn't all that long by DS standards. This ain't Twitter. . . Freestyle venting makes it much easier to untangle the psycho snot knots.
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
To shakyinside, the life I'm living now probably isn't the best for me. I haven't left my home in almost 2 years and eventually someday I won't have anyone to support me so sadly I will have to learn to get better eventually. Some times I wish I could be like this forever but also I do want to fall in love and get married someday as well. I think that'll require getting out every now and then haha.
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
And to arfie, i can't say I am too high strung, I don't ever put a lot of effort into much because I am very afraid of failing and letting people see me when I'm really down. I do like your idea about smaller goals instead of big ones. That's something I know pretty well but I have a hard time putting it twoards leaving the house bc doing anything in the car when it's running and moving is very terrifying to me. I can sit in it when it's turned off just fine but when it's driving, well I haven't been in a running car since I stopped leaving so I'm not sure how it feels and I'm too scared to try. Really just because I don't want to cry in front of anyone and have to walk back into my house and everyone makes a big deal out of it. I prefer to do things on my own but sometimes you can't do it without help.
arfie
arfie
I envy naturally mellow people. Channeling the high intensities Nature burdened me with is an on-going challenge. When I try to hide my fears, et al, behind closed doors, it is equivalent to letting a high power voltage line bounce around enclosed spaces. Alert the fire department. . . My road trips and wilderness retreats are much safer options for everyone, involved or knot.

Setting smaller goals remains an effective psychotherapy tool at whatever energy level. Even the most lofty of goals are accomplished one task at a time. Focusing one task at a time gets the job done more than worrying about the tasks that aren't ready for doing.
invisablefriend
invisablefriend
The way you choose to live today is OK and you might also choose to live a different kind of life in the future.
Why did your Mom cancel your appointment?
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Well arfie, I think there is positives and negatives to most things. Maybe there are advantages to you being the way you are. I can't say for sure because I don't know you and by all means if there is advantages that's not to take away from the struggles that come along with being a certain way, but something that helps me is to think about the positives thar comes along with me being me. Since I don't leave my house or talk to many people I have a lot of time to analyze myself and I am very greatful that im always able to better myself or at least try. I've also gotten good at putting myself in other peoples places and using that to help them. Sometimes feeling too much is a good thing, without people that feel strongly this world would probably suck pretty bad.
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
And invisiblefriend, I agree that my life is okay as long as I'm taking care of myself and getting by that's all that matters. I just hope that someday there is more than this. But my mom cancelled it because I asked her to. I didn't think I'd be able to go upstairs and talk to someone and since out downstairs bathroom is broken I didn't think it would be a good idea (I have stomach problems that go with my anxiety so I need to be very close to a bathroom in anxious situations) but I have a chance at getting help still which I'm gonna make a post about in a second!
arfie
arfie
Just a brain fart here. Ply gas mask if needed, but would it be possible to use that skill of putting yourself in other people's places to help take the fright factor out of stepping out into the big, bad world?

Just wondering in a not-mine-to-sort sort of way.

There is nothing in life either good or bad. It is thinking which makes it so. ~Wm Shakespeare

On my best days, I can sincerely admire what Nature gave to others while being fully content with my own Nature. It is what it is whether I understand it or knot.
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
I don't think that would make it easier to go out because I can't necessarily get rid of my own experiences and feelings by putting myself in their place. But that actually is an interesting thing for you to say though it actually made me have to sit and think about it for a second and I like when people show me new ideas/ways of thinking so thank you!
KimmyO
KimmyO
Everybody needs motivation of some sort, We all get our motivations from something whether it's money or accolades, or appreciation...but usually it's paying the bills or a financial/freedom consequence that makes us go to work or do what we need to do legally or morally. So, make your own motivation, find a way to reward yourself when you accomplish what you need to or take away that reward if you don't. Also, you got to take care of your body's needs to have energy, so take your vitamins, esp magnesium which calms your mind body and spirit and ginseng which gets rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop and also especially B Complex which gives you good energy and focus. Get good rest and also reward yourself. =) You got this, and are able. <3
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Thank you for the nice comment! When my anxiety first started showing itself my mom said we'd try vitamins bc they can help your mind but we never did haha. I will have to look into them though because I've heard many good things about them. There isn't much I can reward myself with as of now though sadly. I've been trying to find things to work towards that really make me happy though so hopefully I find something that makes it all worth it.
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