Yep, it is very likely. Sometimes we don’t realize how much an antidepressant has helped until we come off of it. And while they can help some, they don’t change our thought patterns, just symptoms. Hence the need for other interventions.

I knew the lexapro was helping the anxiety. But I didn’t like the way I was feeling while I’m it. I almost can’t explain it. Like claustrophobic feeling. And like no feelings at all. (Which maybe was for the best).
And correct. The same problems were still there. It is like a bandaid.

So I’m not unhappy I’m off it , I do need other ways to help myself.

I actually was tempted many a day to start it again.

In my own experience with medications, any tweak in the cocktail has had ripple effects. Even something as short term as pain killers for a dental procedure will put me out of whack for a while. Exponentially so for the long term psychotropic drug therapies.

On the sidebar. . . In my personal anxiety cycle, a period of depression always follows my high anxiety periods. I often wonder if it is depression or exhaustion, but by whatever name, it is a relief in the beginning of the depression cycle. High anxiety sure can wear a body out. At least I get extra sleep during my depression cycle. The hard part is pulling out of the pit after I catch up on my z's.

From my own recent experience, going off was a mistake. My symptoms were so severe that I couldn’t manage very well at all. So I will work on my recovery alongside the relief the meds give me Until such a time as I know I’m ready to start weaning off. Each person is different and the choice we make must be what is right for us. I respect your decision, whatever it may be.

It’s like when I am on the antidepressants I don’t feel like myself and want off so badly (I have been on previously as well and on different ones)
Then I come off it and when I feel the way I am now I say “why did I come off it”.
You forget how you feel in each situation

I meant to say I don’t like how I’m feeling on antidepressants

Yes I know what you are saying. I realized I had to choose and stop going back and forth about taking them. So I made my plan. Since I know I’m doing much better, I will stay on them and not allow myself to do the back and forth mind game. I feel confident enough now that I know I will be able to choose the right time to start weaning. In the meantime, I am allowing myself the extra help the meds can give me. That is, in my own opinion, being kind to myself and I won’t feel any shame or other emotions about it. It is what it is. I have accepted it.

In my own case, I believe that quirk (do we have a name for ^it^?) is my lifelong habit of wanting whatever it is I don't have at this moment in time. Whatever it is I go with, I will eventually regret whatever it is I left behind.

I remind myself often to pick one and make it work. Life will challenge me on either path. 'Taint no such thing as a pain-free life. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

And the worst part of it all is it takes time for the antidepressant to work. And getting on them is sometimes difficult (as they build up). So now I don’t know what to do.

But as I think more deeply about it, the antidepressant also caused weird feelings of urination and they constipated me that I was uncomfortable a lot.

And if I could ask a dumb question, if I don’t use antidepressants and am depressed , will I do damage to my brain with all these bad feelings? I know I sound like an idiot

There are no dumb questions. No you will not damage your brain. The body, including the brain, has remarkable abilities to heal itself. I have never come across any information that even remotely suggests brain damage is possible, and I have done a lot of reading on anxiety. So there is one worry we can cross off the list! Maybe it would be of benefit to you to write a pros and cons list for taking medication. Looking at it on paper could help.

Thank you.
And funny because I have kind of done that.
One positive: all this anxiety and weepy feelings were gone

But then I had my negative list of some of the things I just mentioned
The urination issues, constipation, claustrophobic feelings, no feelings and also I am the type of I don’t feel well (have a headache or stomach ache ) I don’t want to have to worry if it’s from the meds or I’m just getting sick.

So,again. I really don’t know what to do.

Every anti-depressant is not the same. It is okay to ask for something different. I do best on Zoloft. You actually have real reasons to be grieving. Maybe you should look into online dating. Just don't get scammed by someone stuck somewhere asking you for money.

I have been on Zoloft in the past.


I also,wanted to mention about a con regarding the antidepressant, o have to start all over and getting on it is uncomfortable

Once you have looked at the pros and cons (don’t rush into anything), make a note of which things on the list you are more willing to tolerate and which ones causes you the most stress. Keep in mind that this choice is yours, there is no right or wrong here. The sky will not fall no matter what choice you make. If you feel you didn’t make the right decision after a time, you can certainly change it. It’s just a matter of what you are most comfortable with. It’s not a big deal. Think of it as trying on shoes..