the foster kids are back in school and i am risking the sin of pride over how well it is going. i say risking the sin of pride to remind myself that, while pride can be a good thing, it slides into denial and neglect with natural ease.

the extra free time i have while they are in school is tempting my reading compulsions. i love to be the resident know-it-all who has read every fact available. i would live in books if i could. to my love of isolating, the step from printed to digital media is not great. the internet is just the world's biggest library, isn't it?

in today's meditation read from joan borysenko's reader, "pocketful of miracles," james resonated loudly on the diff between doing and reading. life outside the box. i'm not all the way sure why this reading resonated with me, but ??? maybe sharing will help me sort what's resonating?

----------------begin quote--------------

seed thought

each peson has capacities for spiritual awakening that are unique to them. not all of us can meditate for long perids or make sense of ancient texts. i once took a series of classes at a spiritual community. one of the group members, james, was a bit like forest gump. he had trouble reading but took a very active part in the classes. when your first thought in the morning is a prayer of gratitude, the minister assured him, you're making great progress. james's face lit up. "really, really?" he exclaimed witth a huge grin. "you can learn to do that? that's great!" the next week most of us had finished the assigned reading, but only james had mastered the practice of making gratitude to god his first thought of the day.

prayer/practice

diving beloved, when i remember you with gratitude when i awaken and when i go to sleep, pour presence is with me throughout the day and night. dear gabriel, please continue to awaken me to a day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute remembering of the divine beloved. when i remember god, then true charity flows effortlessly from my heart.

try beginning every day with a prayer of gratitude to god. throughout the day, whenever you see something of beauty that opens your heart, say a bracha --a prayer of thanksgiving. it doesn't have to be formal. a simple "holy moly, divine beloved, that is one cool sunset will do nicely.

---------------------end quote------------

early into my therapy several shrinks worked to get me to give up reading self-help books. their worry was that i was taking in more theories and information than was humanly possible to implement. maybe i could learn from james?

thoughts?