ugh arfie I just wrote you a response and my beautiful wifi crapped out. I am sorry.

I am sorry you are going through a lot.
Sending peace to you. You're not alone.
Experts can sympathize and provide meds
but the experience is our to go through.
My own insides change so much that I have to
find new resources each day to cope.
Today my resource is faith.
I know you have a lot to mourn - and I am sending
peace your way. I can't imagine how difficult it must
be and I know you must want relief from the burden.
If coming on here helps then that is good. Peace.

You have to start somewhere.

I guess my response would be to be your own expert, but accept, even embrace, the fact that there are others who are equally expert and that they could have really useful, accurate information to give you. The world is a big place full of a lot of people and some of them are really smart and have good things to say. But, because the world is a big place full of a lot of people it can sometimes take a while to find the ones worth listening to.

Good luck on your journey. Hoping you can find some peace and balance

Ah. . . . The Digi-Goblins. . . They have plagued the entire half century since my first programming class in 1971. The greedy little bugers have gobbled some of my greatest profundities in a single digital byte.

More and more, Faith is my go-to resource. It's okay when I don't have the answers. I trust that I have what I need to get by. If I am meant To Know, the answers will come at the speed of life.

Yes, mtd, I do indeed have to start somewhere. Here is as good a place as any.

One of my earliest psych dx'es was, "Savior Complex" from the now traditional alcoholic family model. Girl howdy, I was "good" at it. Expertise was my God-given birthright on any given subject.

Fast forward half a century and "Spurting X's" is one of my psycho nag flags, even when I am the only target of the current round of expertise. When I begin spurting X's, I drop everything and begin plying therapy tools. If my too many psychotic breaks have taught me anything, it is that the more convinced I am right, the further down the proverbial rabbit hole I have fallen.

Now I gotta get me a Jefferson Airplane fix. . . This song was on the hit parade around the time I had my earliest psychotic breaks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0

Sometimes the more we chase answers, the more elusive they are.

the term "expert" has been overused to the point of stupidity and counter productiveness in society. A true expert in a subject matter will be aware of a lot of what they don't know.

I understand the profoundess of your point in this medidation, and it is valuable. But, we still do need to trust "experts", when we are talking about the true "experts", which I define as someone knowing the ins and outs and all the details and broad elements of a specific subject area. Like I trust my primary care doctor or pediatrician to provide me health and illness advice, but I do not consider them an "expert" on child development despite what we are generally led to believe. Most pediatricians are not highly trained in whether something like crying it out versus soothing a child is more healthy or appropriate for a child development, but they tout their personal opinion and call it "expert" because they have touted their opinion a lot of times to many people. That is just an example - Yes, the pediatricians are expert in identifying the symptoms of hand,foot, mouth disease, but maybe I seek the specific experts (and not just some 'wanna get rich by writing a book to tired parents" folks) who know and study child development specifically for their information.

Trust the experts, yes, but always ask questions and realize that they are human, too. Also, check their motives - that is a big deal! Are they ego driven or money driven, or are they really caring for helping others and passionate about their work? Caring and passionate doesn't make them more likely to get it right all the time, but you can feel more confident knowing that they are less likely just trying to con you or take advantage, and that they really believe in and know what they are saying.

So, experts - I do want and expert in wrist surgery to do mine and fix my wrist, but it was sad that I went to so many "experts" (at least 3) who overlooked the problem and caused small bits of harm before I found the wrist expert. I will trust the wrist "expert" to figure out what is wrong and know how to fix it, before I trust my cousin who twisted their wrist once. Trust to gather information, but ask questions and be confident to use your own judgement.

In teh end, we're all human. Experts or non experts, we all can make mistakes. I like your thought on believing the experts too much and people becoming victims, or getting a victim mentality in the process. Sometimes that drives the "but it's not my fault" or "but you didn't tell me to clean my house when I'm allergic to dust mites" . I think we could have a nice long, fun, creative discussion on this were we to be in person with coffee/tea at a comfortable coffee shop/diner/picnic bench, but it gets a bit tedious and long in writing! :)

This was all my long way of saying "I agree, but also....." :)

My most respected therapists hated being called, "Experts." It was, in fact, one of those very professionals who introduced me to the definition of expert this author quotes. I find great benefit to working with professionals whom invest a great deal of time and energy into studying and developing their chosen craft. Not so much the self-important blowhards who are more interested in flaunting their credentials than listening to their clients. The experts always remind me of the military axiom that those who demand respect will never command respect.

Yes! I agree! I gave a presentation at work once, and was referred to as an "expert" on the topic and I had to shake my head because my first and still accurate response is that "I'm not the expert! I'm presenting but my coworker wrote most of the content, I did the fine tuning, and sure I know more than people listening but only on the technical elements (because I helped write that stuff) while they know more about hte problem and the issues that this system is related to."

So, yes, definately how the term "expert" has been misused by being used TOO often!!! And anyone claiming to be an expert at anything must first be met with some side eye and questioning to determine if the term is even the least bit accurate in their case. :)

I agree with HopingCXN. Personally I don’t see an expert, as defined by Merriam-Webster, to know more about myself than I do, but to have more specific, extensive knowledge about a topic, subject, etc. Where it gets murky is when “experts” have such varying opinions from each other. In that case I trust my gut based on the expert that seems to make the most sense to me. Being an expert doesn’t make one infallible though. I trust mostly an expert who’s willing to say, there is a lot we are still learning, and a lot that remains unknown.

Oh and I agree about work! Just today someone pulled me into a meeting because he insisted I was the subject matter expert on something and really it’s because the area accountable for the subject at hand doesn’t want to be responsible for it. I was the one giving side eyes in this case!