Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hey all.
I haven't posted in awhile, but today was super weird and discouraging and maybe someone will have shared in my experience.
I've been on the forum for about 7 months. My anxiety is intricately linked to chronic illness and my struggle with that. I have yet to find a proper diagnosis or see the right doc, but I am treating it as onset (after a terrible URI or Covid last Feb 2020) case of esophageal dysfunction. I struggle with neurogenic cough/throat-clearing, breathlessness, intense globus sensation & fatigue. My anxiety is triggered from my anxiousness over these symptoms; all tend to get a person kind of worked up.
Currently, I am taking low-dose amitryptaline (20mg daily) to potentially help repair any nerve trauma to my throat. This is generally considered a much lower dose than what people take when prescribed amitryptaline for an antidepressant or anti-anxiety. As a serotonin booster, I figured maybe it would help with both. It helps a bit with the cough/throat-clearing, but has also left me even more fatigued than before, massive dry mouth (to the point of discomfort) and sometimes just leaves me feeling bleah!
Overall, my anxiety has been very good. More good days than bad for sure in the last month and I've finally honed my spiritual and mental game to the point where I feel some success pushing back against this (lots of prayer, too!)
Today was just strange. Out of nowhere. 2 big panic attacks. One while reading to my son. One later at work. Panic attacks have been primarily non-existent for me since early Fall. These came on like a freight train and pounded me into submission before I knew what hit me.
What was so weird is that they weren't the normal panic attack. There was no trigger. I used every tool that I generally use and I was able to eventually get through, but these almost felt like massive, plummeting & intense mood swings with no trigger that I could self-assess.
I've started looking up side effects to amitryptaline and noticed that mood swings was there (as well as common side effects plaguing me.)
I could use some feedback if anyone has a minute. Has anyone had any experiences with panic attacks and fatigue on amitryptaline?
It was just a discouraging day and it's been hard to face that I'm not on top of it like I thought I was. I have a baby on the way in 2 months and it just has me sad in general. I worry that I won't be 100% together for my new little one. :(
-
I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
-
Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
I have no experience with the med side effects, but I have tons of experience with sneak panic attacks from repressing my anxiety so that I can be ". . .on top of it." When I am repressing instead of dealing honestly and fully, the triggers tend to be so deeply buried that identifying them while in the throes of a panic attack is somewhere between difficult and impossible. My observation skills are not very sharp under the influence of anxiety. My repressed anxiety tends to be even meaner and less clear than fresh anxiety. It is more deeply rooted and already conditioned to hide itself.
But that is me. . .
Continued support while you figure out what ^it^ is in your case.
Best wishes as you find your better balance.
Arfie, you make a good point about repression. I am moving towards this in counseling a bit. There are some deeper rooted issues with career and life expectations I know I have to address.
I have been so focused on mediating the chronic illness and the anxiety that occurs from that. Maybe these deeper conflicts are manifesting themselves.
I admit that when I have a string of good days, I tend to lighten up my mental excercises and soften my dedication to being well. It just feels so damn good to feel good even temporarily.
Thank you for sharing this.
Sigh. . . Why can't life be as simple as gathering knowledge? I know entirely too many things I still can't do.
I appreciate everyone's helpful and encouraging words.