Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Looking Forward to Thanksgiving

Bobby5000
Bobby5000

For many people I think this year will be special.  A lot of us sleepwalked the holiday in prior years, at least a little and concentrated on some negative things, maybe the work involved if you're hosting, some political arguments, maybe some food choices, but we can put this aside and say for many of us we're together!   For me we pushed through, today I did something extremely stupid, wanted to push my wife to start getting food ready, stopped in a supermarket, it was crowded, and in there I realized, why should I risk illness.  I could have changed my mind, said let's go early.  Developed a seeming cold, but thank g-d its getting better. 


Really looking forward to seeing everyone, while there's no shortage of views on my wife's illness and periodic criticism, everyone really loves her and me and wants her to get better. 

So for everyone, I hope you can enjoy the holiday, appreciate its good things, overlook and sidesteps problems, and look forward to enjoying yourself.   


     

confessionsofaqueen
confessionsofaqueen
It's Monday, Bobby!! Thanksgiving isn't until Thursday, take it slow... Holidays are necessarily so anticipated for many like me as we struggle through the 'single' day every day... If you get my lingo, then you hit bingo!
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
How do you handle this then. Right now, my wife is looking forward to Wednesday, though you're right there is anxiety in the process. What's the best way to address that.
confessionsofaqueen
confessionsofaqueen
Just don't, let it be... Enjoy the train ride and be still. :)
mtd
mtd
If I may, you already mentioned in your post about negative things in past gatherings. Take those things you said to heart and focus instead on the positive. What makes holidays so stressful for some, in my humble opinion, is all those unnecessary worries and trying to make everything “perfect.” Who could possibly enjoy a gathering if they are focused on perfection instead of the family and friends in front of you? What in life is perfect? and do we really need perfection to enjoy our families and friends. I’m reminded of some old sayings such as “ don’t sweat the small stuff”, and “ pick your battles.” Anything we stress about is indeed an internal battle.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
Actually, in doing the shopping yesterday, you gave your wife the opportunity to enjoy the day preparation for the event on Wednesday.

I'd say keep focusing on the positive!

For me, we lightened our Thanksgiving load by changing how we do the meal, time, and making it simple. Stopped making it a 'gathering' after a lot of things happened and kept the special parts.
rmb
rmb
I did my shopping on Sunday and I’m only preparing Thanksgiving for me and my husband. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving too. We stay at home, play games, listen to music, have a football game on, and just be grateful for simple pleasures.

It doesn’t have to be perfect and as long as expectations are reasonable what’s not to get excited about. I’m glad you are embracing it.
malibumark
malibumark
Peace Bobby. Like they said, when faced with the choice of the negative or positive outlook “choose Happy!”
malibumark
malibumark
Your post is helping me do the same as I start my work day right now:)
Community LeaderMid
Mid
Hope today works out great for you all! Happy Thanksgiving!
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
So far, not so good, have people coming over and my wife has not even gotten shopping for the food done, as I hear wait 5 minutes and I'll get dressed for the last 3 hours. Had a bad cold, but that's getting better. I appreciate all the advice from the people here, and hopefully by giving you the perspective of someone dealing with a spouse's anxiety and severe depression you get a sense of how the people you're dealing with see things.
rmb
rmb
Kind of not surprising though since this is kind what she does now. Deep breath, maybe go get the rest of the shopping done without her. Don’t plead, don’t lose your cool, just … do.

I just posted this quote in another group and it seems relevant here: Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
Worked out well, thank G-d. We went to the store around 2, had people over a little later, but she did a great job! I can't tell you how meaningful this was and how happy everyone was to see her cook and get things ready. Her sister came and provided a little push also so I appreciate that. And she felt better, her self-esteem seems better and she's telling me you better get ready for Thanksgiving and she was ready 1 hour before!
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