Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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looking at my anxiety.. deeply..

mikes1648
mikes1648

These are the things I have anxiety about...



 - going to bed alone, being alone


- yet i find when i am alone, am i full. right now there is no one in my life. I go on dates.. yet i feel very alone on the dates. I was going on a date last night. I felt very alone walking up to the date. I almost felt better if i were alone that night then i would have my presence.. and not have anxiety about having to hold a conversation with anyone. 


so looking at this.. anxiety is not really being alone, no its more so trying to make life be a certain way.


I work alone. I play guitar all alone, everytime its me just there in front of 70 people or just 4. Its always just me.. but then its not either.. i become the energy of the group, the music that is unplayed is my companion walking in.. as it rests upon my presence about to go thru me. I dont feel alone there. 


So then anxiety, is the anxiety being alone, or is it more of the thought of having to fix the alone with the mind wtih events.. and deal with another person who needs. 


so re- looking at this.. is it bad to go to bed alone?  i sleep better, i am in myself, and being alone is ok. its a rich opportunity to just feel this amazing being. Trying to talk to another person about this is impossible. 


conclusion - the anxiety is not about being alone, it is about hopping upon the story of tying to fix something. and not accepting what is there. 


Community LeaderMid
Mid
You've written it out. There are several directions you can take your writing in. Best wishes.
3scram
3scram
keep writing, you're almost there. alone is not causing anxiety, alone is comfortable. being what others need you to be causes anxiety.
akacountrygirl
akacountrygirl
I once told a friend of mine that I had a lot of anxiety. He had no clue about mental illness or anxiety but he asked me a very important question. Since then I have thought about it when I do have the mental anxiety. When I said I had anxiety he asked "What are you afraid of?" After examining my feelings I realized that anxiety is fear. Then I started to work through my fears..one baby step at a time. I still have anxiety because there are some situations that I can not fix. As for those I just try and learn to accept them. And pray for the wisdom the know the difference between what is fixable and what is not. Best wishes.
dstrdlx
dstrdlx
Thats what anxiety is isnt it.. Just re evaluating those things that scare you isnt it. Thats what helped me a lot in the past
mikes1648
mikes1648
thanks for the amazing replies.. yes.. perhaps anxiety is a nice trigger , for us to stop.. sit and really look at what is the illusion in front of us. See its untruth. hmmm.. explore, explore , explore..
bridgie101
bridgie101
Being alone is wonderful. But it gets boring. Safe versus boring. Hmm.

I think some anxiety is good. And I think it would be nice to meet someone nice. I don't have what it takes to date right now, but I'm sure I'll eventually get around to it. :)
kenznoel
kenznoel
If you are happy alone then just be alone! You don't need someone in your life if you don't want them there. It kind of sounds like you are trying to go on dates and be compatible with someone because you think that's what you're supposed to do. Being alone isn't a bad thing. Do whatever makes you happy!
Reed31
Reed31
It looks like you've done a really amazing job honestly looking at your anxiety. That's really hard for most of us to do so I appreciate the example. I've found that what is most comfortable for me - and a lot of others with anxiety - is to have people to be "alone together" with. I like having other people in the house but I don't like the pressure of interacting where I'll judge everything I'm thinking and saying and wind up exhausted afterwards. But if I have room-mates, kids, my partner, etc. roaming around doing their own thing and then we have supper together and they go back to their book, homework, TV show, etc. I love that. I also find I prefer a bed full of cats and dogs to humans. They snuggle in but you can toss them out if necessary. : )
Minidogs2
Minidogs2
Good post. I think it is very important for everyone to learn to be at peace with themselves and by themselves at times. If you can't be at peace by yourself at times, something is wrong. Of course we need to have times of socializing with other people, but we don't need to go on a date just to be with somebody. Your explanation says to me that it's not a good time for you to date.
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