When I swim I imagine hands from dead people grabbing my feet because I know there’s lots of dead bodies in the ocean and lakes. Sometimes I go into panic trying to get out fast enough. Lol

That reminds me of when I was a kid and I would turn off the lights in my basement and run up those stairs so fast like someone was right behind me lol

Lights. Security lights look like child pornography sets to me. Even Sunday sermon light metaphors can make my eyes ache to the point of migraines. Light/dark poems, et al, are agony. Please keep your light pollution to yourself, both literal and metaphorical.

My brother passed away 4 years ago in a bathroom from a drug overdose. The door was locked and no one could get in. Years later when I was completely overwhelmed with life I became afraid to lock the bathroom door. I was afraid of dying and no one being able to get in and rescue me. I just recently started locking the door again.

@giddy12 - I think it would be productive to take your irrational fear and challenge it, to write it out and remind yourself that this fear will not come to fruition.

It is a form of CBT therapy. You could maybe look up CBT therapy online if you are not already working on that with a therapist.

Hi @giddy12,

My irrational fears even before this started were flu germs and pretty much any germs in general. I got really sick with h.pylori after the flu some years ago and now I'm fearful of getting it or the Flu again. So I'm hypersensitive when it comes to germs and that's before all this started. Now I'm even scared to go outside in our backyard to get some fresh air and sunshine. When our groceries or packages from Amazon, etc I can't believe that the sanitizing steps worked to effectively kill the germs and even after weeks or even a month later in my mind the items seem like they still have germs on them.

Also, I tend to try to determine outcomes prior to events even occur. I catastrophize situations and drive up my Anxiety in the process.

I hope that helps. It sure helped me to write it out :D

Be Well,
goldsky

I've always had OCD symptoms.. it gets worse when im going through a very bad anxiety/depression episode, especially when my self esteem is suffering at the same time. I start doing silly things. For example when i turn the light off, a voice in my head says turn it on again once or twice or else someone i love will die, or i will fail my exams (when i was younger). At the time i didn't know this is a real psychological condition, i actually thought it was my sixth sense warning me, so i feel very obliged to follow this nagging voice (feeling), but as i got older and read enough about it i can handle it better now, i can talk myself out of it basically.. i ask myself loudly and clearly if i believe this voice, and as i don't i stopped doing it. But on very rare occasions i fall for it again once or twice.

For the longest time, my irrational fear was that I was going to trip and fall face down and knock all my front teeth out. So I would impulsively press my tongue against my front teeth many times throughout the day to see if my teeth were still there. This went on for a couple years before I got over it.

The funny part (or scary part depending on your interpretation) is that my worst fear did actually come true. I did fall face forward when I tripped down a flight of stairs one night, except I didn't knock my front teeth out - I broke my nose instead.

Funny how what you worry about doesn't usually come to fruition - it's the stuff that you haven't given a moment's thought to that ends up getting you. I guess that one more reason to not worry. Because what you're worrying about is the wrong thing in my experience - and you don't know what the real issues will be until it is too late anyway.

Ditto for CBT. That helps to process and separate the rational from the irrational.