Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So, the past couple of days have been rough. My wife's mother has been pushy and controlling lately. She finally pushed my wife to the exploding edge, and my wife screamed back. So here I am in the middle, trying to play nice on both sides. I don't know what's harder. Watching my wife hurt and struggle just to make her parents happy, or me trying not to yell at her mom for the pain she's causing. It's like every time my wife gets ahead, she's knocked down by her mom. It's always something wrong with whatever she's doing. It's hard because my wife has only me for support, where her parents should be there as well. It seems she can never get approval from her parents, and I'm left trying to hold her together. I'm grateful she has me for support because I understand her and love her all the same. But her parents are something I have to shake my head at. They just don't see where they are going wrong, or how they are hurting her.
And this all stems from her being gay. They treat her completely differant than they do her brother. He's the golden boy. He can do no wrong, although he's been in jail, wrecked I don't know how many cars, and tried to kill his sister twice. While my wife hasn't even gotten so much as a parking ticket. I don't understand people. I really don't. I don't get why people have to be so narrow minded. Why they have to insist that their way is right, and everyone else is wrong. There is always a more peaceful way to deal with things, instead of hurting others. I just don't understand why pain has always got to be the solution.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
You ask many good questions, that so many of us struggle to understand as well. Pain and hurt can happen, and everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes even good choices for good reasons carry the consequence of hurting someone else. But, I'm with you, I don't understand how or why so many people go so far in breeding pain and hurt - and for themselves, too! It really doesn't have to be so hard!!! Just love, open your eyes, and care a bit.
When I find myself trapped between warring factions, I lean heavily on the mantra, "Ears open, mouth shut." ^It^ is not mine to sort.
You are responsible for what you say, do, react, and respond. You are NOT responsible for what others say, do, react, and respond. As Arfie mentions, ears open and mouth shut is effective in keeping the balance.
When it comes to adult parents and adult children having differences of opinion about lifestyle in any form, you have to take a huge step back in order to help your partner.
All too often, adult children revert back to childhood behavior with parents in conflicts of actions and words. This creates the cycle of which there is no real positive resolution. As an adult, your partner has to choose for themselves exactly what they want most in the relationship with their parents going forward.
Toxic words and actions are not healthy. Your relationship is separate, even though it is connected.
Comparison is the thief of joy. When attempting to sort out relationships of siblings and parents, it is necessary to separate person singular as Arfie mentions.
One of the best gifts we give ourselves in letting go of the way we have been hurt by the past for our choices, is seeing the unexpected consequences become more positive.
Just because someone shares their negative opinion does not mean it becomes your problem.
Different lifestyles mean different opinion and different options.
That means their opinion is not wrong and neither is your opinion, they are different, and so choosing different options that work to improve your balance is far more effective than attempting to understand the difference of opinion in the form of right and wrong.
Once you change how you respond, their usual response no longer fits. It may get worse before it gets better, and it will change.
It’s difficult when family do not love you unconditionally but Rather than lament their actions you must heal and move on.