Working on it. Building up my finances to be able to be out on my own. Unless someone has a good money making idea for me, I'm figuring it out. I'm on crutches so working is hard, & the pandemic going on. To give you a little more background: the sibling also needs to leave to for our mom's sake. They're in their 30s, relies on other people to do for their child, has left the house for hours without saying anything & just leaving their child with us, they lie constantly, doesn't help around the house, like I said they're in the 30s but always whining about how much they hate it here & always pointing fingers but they're content with leaching off of whoever. I want to report them for the things they've done to their child, but I want to have a certain degree of proof. Any ideas how I do that, or what kind of proof?

It really is. I feel so sorry for this child.

Hello Seeking. Welcome to DS. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

Rather than trying to imagine your life and formulate advice based on what I am imagining, I would like to encourage you to keep venting and sorting in your own words. Even when I have a front row seat to all the gory details, I believe the best and most sustainable solutions come from the heart of the person who has to do the do.

In my personal experience with family dysfunctions, etc., the sorting is easier with strong emotional support and that is where my therapy support network comes in. DS is one of the nodes on my therapy support network. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

Welcome aboard. Hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

Listening. . .

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

You've taken the important step of writing it out and this is a safe place to vent.

Along with Arfie, I agree that you will find the best option through sorting out the options for your well-being and your venting will help you see the patterns of your thoughts so you can move them into a direction with a plan.

I will add this: you are not responsible for what others say, do, react, and respond. You are responsible for what you say, do, react, and respond. In changing your response to improve your well-being, you'll notice that their usual response will no longer fit and it will change, often for the worse before it gets better.

Best wishes as you find your better balance.

Arfie & Mid thank you both for your input. That's exactly what I'll do, continue to write/vent/explain until I find peace.

Listening. . .

You are not alone, Seeking.

Too much.

Please do what you can to help the poor child being abused.

Them claiming you're abusing their child is a very serious accusation.

Does your mom know the truth about your half sibling?

Agree with you moving out of this household. It does not sound like a healthy environment. Can you move in with another relative?

Seeking solution, I would call child services emergency line. Not knowing where you are located you can look on the internet for your area. Child abuse is serious. The child depending on how old will be interviewed. It doesn’t matter if the parent is an FBI agent. They cannot get into child abuse records without a court order. They have no jurisdiction over children and family services. I retired from such an agency. Best wishes.

carlyj1202 That's why I left some stuff out, but what do you mean?

Not sure what you left out, but have you thought about what you are going to do next? You are going to have to take some action to protect yourself. And the child.

Them accusing you of child abuse is a very serious accusation. You could go to jail. Is that what you really want.

Have you talked to your Mom... how does she feel about your sibling making these accusations about you?

GirlinCalif the truth as far as what happens to the child, yes. Both of us have stepped in at times when my sibling does things that go beyond discipline. And here's the thing, the child & I were always close & we still are but not as much, You know how children pick up on adult's energy & the fighting, they try to play me & my half sibling against each other. Like if they don't like what 1 of us says, they'll go run to the other & say something like "so & so hit me". The child has done the same thing to my mom, not liked when they were told to stop something, so they ran to my sibling. And when they're cozying up to the sibling they'll say things like I'm a bad person, I'm a pest etc. (I don't like that I keep saying"the child" so from here let's call the child Alex) I don't blame Alex for that, because the sibling is poisoning their mind. My thing is I don't give a damn if you like me, but what kind of vile person tries to poison a child against the people who raise her? This reminds me of when Alex's dad, the sibling's ex boyfriend, was living with us. Long story short, my mom introduced them, I liked him at 1st then it changed. It became me against both of them, my mom always tried to stay neutral. He would do things like pick fights with her all the time, break things, we were fighting before, one time I break down my sibling's bedroom door because he had locked them in there while he was screaming at her. Anyway I bring him up because I always made it my job to get Alex away from them, when they started cussing at each other, so Alex is used to the fighting. Alex is growing up around so much hate & animosity. And no, I don't have other family I could stay with. I have other relatives, but I either don't know them or they live in other parts of the country. The only one close is my uncle, he's the one who doesn't know how my half sibling is. She has him so brainwashed. I have no relationship with my dad's family. My half sibling does communicate with her paternal family.

Girlincalif my mother knows about what they're saying about me. She tells me to just stay away, and she thinks it's fucked up. She's on my side in that regard, but I feel like that isn't enough. The things I know my sibling has done to Alex, I want to report, I was told I needed some degree of proof. Thinking of how to get that.

You can report things anonymously. CPS has the job to investigate and determine what can / should be done. They would ask about your concerns, if you have seen something, etc. Things like neglect (dirty, alone, no food), bruises, or what the child tells you could all be mentioned.

It's a tough time and you're in a difficult situation. I wish you all the best as you proceed.