Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

You've taken the important first step in writing it out.
The key to finding calm is to keep writing everything out, sorting out the words, thoughts, emotions, feelings, and the surroundings. Your goal is to use anxiety as the helper it is set up to be for your better balance.
Your goal is to improve the positive words and choices to help you remain calm and better balance.
My strongest suggestion is don't give up your therapy support network just when you need it the most. Your journal sounds like you've been hoeing a rough row since you left. Steadying support while you find your way out.
Welcome back.