Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
In the last month my anxiety costed me many health problems. I am also in a difficult moment because I want to move back to my country, but my husband is not sure, he has been not sure for a year. This year he only had a job for 2 months, and we moved like 5 times, we have been living with his father for 4 months now in a very little town completely isolated, and we are not that young, we are 30. He has good professionally degrees and experience in corporate environments which makes it easier for him to get a job than for me but I still want to work. But he has been applying for jobs in different states so I can't look for a job because as soon as he gets one I will have to quit mine because he will surely make more money than me. I also want to keep studying and I am paused because of him. I want to go back to Soth America for many reasons, it's my culture and I miss it. My husband and I had been together for 8 years, and the first 4 years we lived in my country, and he loves it. The reason he is not sure right now is because he has been applying for these corporate positions that pay a lot of money and he wants one of those jobs, but they have all said no this year, so it's not looking very possible; and also because he is scare of confronting his father. I am tired of having my life on hold for him, I want to grow too. My anxiety is bad because I can't commit to anything and for months he has been saying he needs more time to think. I love him but I don't know what to do, I don't have friends here because he is not social, he even gets upset if I want to go out for coffee because we don't have money but I need to see people I need to have a life. I haven't left my house in weeks except for all my doctor appointments not because I am depressed, but just to avoid him making me feel guilty for expending money. At this point I am feeling like going to my country alone, but at the same time I want to see the big picture. I tried talking to him every day but he always says he needs more time to make any decision. Any advise?
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
A marriage lasts 50 - 70 yrs. It is certainly worth a few years investment in setting it up well. So I can see why your husband is still holding out for the well paying job and I applaud his courage because he must be really having to fight to keep his motivation and courage up right now.
Having said that, you kind of need an end date for all of this. maybe another year? If he gets nothing within the next year, will he consider that the word of God, as it were? Will he accept that as a message? Find out what end date he would consider to be real - and then lock that date in.
In the mean-time, as you can see, a year or two of misery and living with no money etc is not a big deal.
I would get the job right now. You can quit if he gets an income. If he does not you don't need to quit - but get the job. Don't put anything on hold for him. Study? You can do that online and only show up for one exam at the end of the paper: sign up for online study on the understanding that if you have moved by then, and got a job, that these dates are already leave dates for you and you will be flying back to sit the exam.
Friends? Go join your church. You don't need money to have friends, you don't need his permission. As a woman you have to make your own friendships and bonds wherever you go and if you wait for hubby you will end up with nobody. I speak from experience here; my ex husband didn't like any of my friends and I barely invited them over or to do anything at all, ending up with no friends.
So get your job, doesn't matter what but it'll pay for your coffees. Get your social life, and get an end date to his search for work. :)
Part of the process in living in two countries is learning to cope with the changes and that means if you are giving the time to let him choose, then your work is for the moment.
For me, I have had to learn how to be with friends again, and it's made a significant improvement in my well-being.
Best wishes.