I've been an alien all my life, try though I have to fit in with this or that crowd. But I pretty much repeat the patterns I experienced with my family: not fitting in, feeling misunderstood, ignored, at their sadistic mercy. With age I have become more accepting of my social anxiety and introverted nature, though I used to try to "pass" for an extrovert. What I realized somewhere along the way was that I tried too hard to be popular for the sake of being popular but I didn't really connect with most people I encountered. I decided to stop using other people to bolster my self esteem and take away my loneliness. I will say that now I usually do enjoy my own company, and in a way I always did but thought I was "supposed to" have lots of friends, etc.

People always tell me that I am antisocial. I say..So What? Who says that being extroverted is the desired goal? You just need to be YOU. I feel like the discomfort in social situations may be because you are trying to fit other peoples expectations. Who cares what others think? I think if you can learn to be comfortable in your own company and not care if you fit in that it will all fall into place. Hugs!

When you find what you like about your self, it becomes easier to choose what works best for you in social situations. I have "social phobia" as a diagnosis. Here's the reality for me: I can not distinguish sounds in a full surround location (crowded areas, large areas, distant spaces, etc...). There are different types of anxiety symptoms that display in a stress situation, and once you know what gives you the "heebie-jeebies", you can find something to make it less overwhelming. When I am in places that I can not distinguish what sounds I am hearing, I stop, pause, breathe, and let the motion continue around me. When I am calm, I pick out a single sound and then go on from there. Using a specific symptom, rather than a general purpose symptom, helped me to find my way to a normal balance with far less initial anxiety. Best wishes and know you are valuable just as you are.

If you truly have nothing wrong with you, then congratulations. You already have it better than the majority of people with social anxiety disorder stemming from something that actually negatively sets them apart. In my case, I have short height, so it feels like a physical barrier. If you truly are not content in being a happy introvert (nothing wrong with that at all), then I think your best option is to practice, practice, practice. Go to all the social events, you can. Push your boundaries every time. Act like you're the most sociable person in the world. You can get a long way just faking it. How fulfilling will it feel when you get to stage you wanted to be? I don't know. Everybody is different, but at least you tries. I recommend the site SucceedSocially.com

I hear ya jojo.
Ive wondered that myself...at least youre still young...you'll find it...it just seems like u never will sometimes.
Keep your head up!

I hear you , I just joined the forum , became a victim myself, and I can't figure why . But yes I was hit by various negative and social aspects in my life and I am trying to cope as much as I can with the disorder no longer with help of a psychiatrist but all by myself , I would like very much to share part of my progress and my unfortunate with you, as we all sitting on the same boat .

I feel like an outsider at times too.
If you feel like your anxiety is impacting your life, it might be a good idea to talk to a licensed counselor. They may be able to give you some insight and the ability to cope with some of the anxiety that you are feeling. God bless.

I have never really fit in anyway except with people who are not "normal". People who are not afraid of being themselves.

Maybe the people that you are meeting do not fit in with you. You sound like a great person!

Total alien here! I know exactly how you feel, i just try to spend my time doing things that make me happy.