Marian you really may need to make an effort to not take everything he says as an attack. It’s part of the problem it seems. I’m not saying he’s not wrong but there is something to the dynamic of your relationship that you both contribute to. Something has to change and it has to be you. And by that I mean he is who he is. But how you react and handle things is really yours to sort out.

What do you feel like you HAVE to worry about?

Also there are peaceful places outside of church. I just went for a walk this morning, peace everywhere. I know you don’t feel good. Then lay down put some music on or whatever relaxed you and just be. That is peace too.

Thank you rmb. You’re right. I have to just let things happen and not respond. I am just so emotional and sad right now. This illness took a lot out of me. As always I worry about my kids. You know how I am with that.
And yes I do need to just rest. I actually haven’t done enough of it even being stuck in house.

Take care of yourself today. Rest, comfy pjs, tea, whatever works.

Yea thank you. I’m just so tired. You know leading up to the illness I had the dog thing (and his recovery was hard) then my kids home. Constant food and cleaning up and not sleeping right. Etc.
So I went into this drained I suppose that’s also why I’m just exhausted right now.

First. Stop. Pause. Breathe. Repeat until clear headed.

Even when you do not feel good, especially when you are tired, fatigued, exhausted, depressed, and you know you're feeling the ragged edge of 'speaking feelings', take the step back. Your body and brain will recover faster and easier when you do this.

Instead of fighting being ill, embrace it, allow yourself to feel the need to rest, to take it easy, no matter what.

The good things in that you helped the dog get better, you had the visit with the kids, and the excitement of doing meals, cleaning, and being up longer to enjoy the company of the kids.

The more you act '...', the return act from hubs is going to be the same. The dogs are reacting to the atmosphere within, and you are the primary care giver. Take care of your thoughts, your words, your actions to help yourself heal and recover quietly and completely.

It takes two to argue, to fight, to be mean. One word, one act of kindness towards your self can change the day for the dogs to be comfortable, to let their normal routine be enough.

Yes, exhaustion is normal after the holidays, However, it's possible to enjoy the exhaustion as a success of time well spent.

Thank you mid.
I don’t know if any of you remember my post when I wrote that my two kids had a fight on New Year’s Eve? Well I can’t seem to get this out of my head, even though my son apologized to everyone. They were fine afterwards. It’s just haunting me. Maybe because it was in front of their significant others. I don’t know. I actually have had bad dreams and I know it’s because I can’t move on from it.

And rmb this is one of my worries.

My husband and I actually had a civilized conversation about the fight the kids had. He said there was no more we should have done as son apologized to everyone and daughter and son moved on right away. Like we can’t dwell on it with them.

But I cannot get beyond it at all.
One of my huge things right now

the empty nest makes a resonant echo chamber.

the empty nest syndrome and divorce have been solid running buddies for several generations now. maybe it's time to dump the chump?

steadying support while you decide what is right for you.

See if you can get anxiety medication. It should help some. Changing the way you look at things is something you could work on with your therapist. Nothing will change until you do. My mother was like you. She constantly worried about everything. Especially her kids. It got her no where except a couple of nervous breakdowns. Her life could have been less stressful and miserable if she had been willing to listen to her therapist and worked on herself. My brother and the things around her wasn't going to change. She needed to think and behave differently for any pease.

I actually have anxiety medication. I also am on a low dose antidepressant.

I know the worry and fear with them is wrong and will solve nothing. And I think I may have been doing slightly better. But this just really threw me.
I think it’s also because there is nothing I can do about it right now. And I am the worst in those situations

I don’t think you should judge it so harshly, by describing it as “wrong.” Don’t let this side track you. Everyone has stuff that comes up and throws us off course. This where having those anxiety management tools comes in handy.

rmb, do you mean the argument between them ?
I know it happens to families and siblings and people all the time. This one just hurt me for some reason.

I was referring to your statement: "I know the worry and fear with them is wrong and will solve nothing. "

I'm saying don't judge your worry and fear as right or wrong. It's neither right nor wrong. It's just part of the distorted thinking that anxiety brings.

It sure is.
My worry is obsessive. I know that. It wears me out.
I am truly exhausted