Hi Ashley, I’m sorry to hear about your panic attach, they can be very scary. You are not alone. I’ve had panic attacks for years. They can be caused by high anxiety, fear, or a trigger.

Your husband may have forgotten or maybe he does not understand how you are affected. You may want to talk to him about how you are feeling and that you really need his support right now.

Do you see a doctor or therapist for your anxiety? If you do, you might want to contact them about your panic attack. Try journaling about your anxiety and your emotions. Sometimes journaling can help relieve your emotions and help find trends in how you are triggered. Relaxation and grounding techniques are key in relieving anxiety and panic attacks. Deep breathing from the lower belly help relieve the flight or fight response of anxiety and panic attacks. Meditation, gentle exercise, soft music, hobbies and anything that you find calming can help.

Grounding can also help. I describe my surroundings, colors, read words backwards, objects, buildings, landscapes, textures....... I also keep tokens with me so I can hold them and describe them in my mind.

Below are some links that might be helpful in describing the flight or fight response, techniques for relieving anxiety and grounding examples.

I hope you feel better soon. Wishing you serenity and peace.

https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/fight-or-flight-response/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-life/201709/7-ways-calm-your-worried-mind-and-reduce-anxiety

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques.pdf

Hello Ashley. Welcome to the forum.

My husband is pretty clueless on how to handle my panic attacks. On my good days I'm grateful for that because it means he doesn't have the inside scoop by which **to** understand them. I wouldn't wish this understanding on my worst enemy, far less the love of my life. Pushing him to understand what he does not have the inside data **to** understand complicates our already complicated relationship. Co-parenting, etc., is a big job in itself.

I get far better support by carrying my special needs to my psychotherapy support network where my fellow sufferer already have that inside understanding.

This very forum is one of the nodes on my psychotherapy network. Sharing here helps me focus my strictly personal issues and provides me with far more anxiety management tips and tricks than a non-sufferer can hope to provide.

Welcome aboard. Hope you find stabilizing companionship here.
Share freely. Share often. It works if you work it and you are worth it.

I have the same sort of problem, my wife just tells me to man up, problem is that if the person does not have the same experience then they have nothing to draw from at the moment to offer support, I find that speaking to people that have been there makes it a little easier, but I agree empathy goes a long way, I am here to chat if you need.

panic attacks and anxiety go hand and hand. People do not understand how bad it can get. You were right if your husband and kids spend the day with you maybe that would have relieved your symptoms. There are things you can do before a full blown attack happens. I went to classes on this stay well

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

First, you will have to take care of you. That means stepping back, stop, pause, breathe.

This is your anxiety, no one else's.

You've taken the important first step in writing it out.

Write in a daily journal private every single day to help you sort through your thoughts.

You can be stronger than your anxiety.

Remember you are responsible for what you say, do, react, and respond. You are not responsible for what others say, do, react, and respond.

So your husband's reaction was to take care of himself first. He feels you're doing the best with the kids. He may not understand how anxiety affects you, and that's his choice. He does not have to understand.

That being said, take the kids out, do something fun with the kids. Be in the moment with the kids.

Stay hydrated. Do even breathing. Focus on doing activities. Keep a list of what works.

Help your children, give them things to do.

Best wishes as you find your better balance.

I don't know why your husband is acting that way---you will have to talk to him directly and pry it out of him--I do know sometimes people really don't understand what you need from them-sometimes they need a really direct approach-like maybe your husband thinks you just need a male presence around the house to feel better. or sometimes people are terrified about illness-I have a family member like this--he tries to hide it, but any major illness scares him--he avoids visiting hospitals, just kind of disappears when someone might need him...I am sorry your husband is not there for you in the way you need....maybe spell it out for him....

I wish you the best with finding relief from panic attacks which I know are absolutely curable from experience. I think it is almost impossible for someone who hasn't had a panic attack to understand what they are like. I usually forget what a panic attack is like unless I am currently in one (I have had many, many over the years). I can relate to getting fixated on one thing when having anxiety /panic attack and other people just don't have the same priority. It's hard, but a partner is usually one of the last people who can truly help you with panic disorder (they tend to get really nervous/worried based on your own anxiety). I got professional help with my panic and general anxiety disorder and no longer have panic attacks.