courage is not the absence of fear.
courage is action in the face of fear.

yes, the unknown is always scary. sometimes a little, sometimes allot.

stay brave. you can do this.

I agree with Arfie. Someone said Fear knocked on the door and faith answered. I do things in fear. When I started back to work, I did it in fear. When I went for an operation, I did it in fear. You can rise above it.

The devastation may only be in your own perspective. How you personally perceive the world around you. And Arfie is correct, we do things in spite of the fear. That is bravery. I’m going out on a limb here to show you an example. The apostles has to learn to conquer their fear when they went forward with their missions. I’m certain in the beginning they were quite fearful. But they went forward, their fear was probably quite blinding at first. But after continuing on their missions they adjusted to the fear, using faith to get them thru. And as their faith grew from action, their mentality toward the fear changed to the point they were willing to do or die. Fear no longer held them captive, a slave. There are not that many that actually go thru this kind of life learning, but it can be an inspiration to all who are enslaved to fear, that it is possible to overcome.

I hear you, the unknown is hard. I bet the fact that because you had been with your previous employer so many years and were probably very comfortable has something to do with your apprehensive feelings. Also I don’t know the circumstances of your leaving but my sense is there are some trust and respect issues for you right now too.?? Just a hunch though. Be brave and know that each employer is different. It’s definitely a feather in your cap that you were at the same job for so long!! Kudos and well done!! You’re obviously a good worker and reliable!! Be brave and good luck with the interview!!!

Thanks for the well wishes gang. I sent an email cancelling tomorrow's interview. I'm just not ready (sigh). Don't have the heart to tell my friends...they have been on this ghosting ride with me for almost 2 years

it isn't ghosting if you took the time and consideration to cancel.
can we call that progress?

in my own funny farm cell, ghosting is where i don't let myself think about it until i simply don't show. it's not only destructive isolation, it's bad manners, to boot.

congrats on still having friends you can be embarrassed to tell. none of my friends are loyal enough to ride a ghosting train with me for 2 straight years. all too many of my friends don't even notice i am ghosting. it's normal-for-me.

That is okay that you cancelled that interview. Maybe, you knew in your heart that it wasn't the job you wanted right now.

Are you still working at that other job as well as being your Mom's caretaker? I would think that is a lot on your plate already. You did mention in a previous post that at least this job has flexibility, so that you have time to care for your Mom. Maybe try to look at any positives this current job has (flexibility, it's only temporary, I'll get another job soon, etc)

You're doing a lot already. I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. What we are "supposed" to be doing (new career, etc) doesn't matter that much because you are already doing a lot right now!!! Take care of you first, then your Mom, and try not to be so hard on yourself. Everything will fall into place soon. Hugs!

Thanks Arfie and GirlinCalif for say it's okay to be "normal/not-normal" :) Sending a cancel email is progress for me. Yes, working and caring for mom who was recently given a leukemia diagnosis to add to her long list of ailments. ((hugs))