Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Lately it feels like my anxiety is just going into a whole new stage or something. Not even anxiety just mental health in general. I have been incredibly stressed and high strung. Mostly because my living situation but other things as well.
I am so tired of living in a gross moldy basement. All of my stuff has to be in totes can't be on the floor more chance of getting mold on it. Just the other day had to throw out a lot of stuff bc I opened one of the totes and it smelled so strong of mold.
I keep my room as clean as I can so please do not tell me to clean more. We've used bleach I scrub down my walls with disinfectant all the time. Doesn't fix it. Our entire basement needs re done. All the walls ripped out the paneling is water damaged and buckled. The few pieces of furniture are all chewed up from when the dogs were puppies.
Only a little bit of floor that isn't concrete and that is the "kitchen" it needs torn up as well. The basement actually used to be lovely it was all carpeted except the kitchen and bathroom we could actually happily live down there but slowly over time it got worse and we can not afford to fix it.
All the plumbing through our entire house needs redone and most of it is in the basement in what is supposed to be the bathroom but my uncle broke the toilet so now it is just a sad moldy room full of spiders. We do not have to money to do all these repairs.
That's what it's like when you're poor once a little problem arises you try to fix it with the money you have but since you don't have enough for a good professional job, it gets worse. Then it turns into a big problem.
Thankfully the upstairs of our house is actually really nice it is not gross or moldy. There just isn't room for me or my sister or the dogs up here. (The dogs are not around anything horrible for them I will always keep things as clean as I can for them and they go to the vet if a problem arises, no matter what)
So basically my anxiety and stress has been pretty high because I just feel so bad in the environment I am in. I am embarrassed of my house. Some times I wonder what it's like to have a nice space where you don't have to worry about mold and you can have nice things in your room and it feels comfy and clean.
I go to sleep feeling upset about my house and I wake up feeling the same. Something needs to be done but I don't know when that will happen. I'm trying to get better at baking so I can sell stuff and help out. I want my mom to help me get on social security money or whatever its called so I can take care of us. I just want to do something but I cant. I need help from my mom but every time I ask she blows it off.
Long story short my house sucks and it's making me feel empty and stressed. Also been having more intrusive thoughts lately and it sucks so bad. Things just are crappy lately. Sorry for the giant wall of text guys thanks if you read to the end. As usual I hope you are all doing well.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Even when the change is for the better, change can still create allot of anxiety. I hope you ride it through and allow healing to happen here. Life has much more to offer than your mother's moldy basement.
Just guessing. Just hoping. Continued support while you decide for yourself.
I wish there was some opportunity for change in the living situation. There is no family members that could comfortably house us and we don't really have the money to move.
And if we moved anywhere that wasn't in the country, I would be absolutely miserable. I need the nature, the wildflowers, the big fields and few people. Without it I don't think I could find happiness. Idk what to do anymore. Feels like whenever I try to figure it out I am met with a dead end. I will get there though. Thank you for the support.
Talking to your mother is always a good idea, but don't forget that family members make notoriously lousy therapy supporters. Personally, I think it rocks to have BOTH solid family AND solid therapy supporters, along with a variety of other community members. It really does take a village to live a healthy life.
Stay brave, Frog. You can work this through.
Also I don't really know how to get out of this situation. It's gonna be really hard to fix our house like thousands and thousands of dollars. Even if I get assistance it'll be a lot of saving and take years to fix.
I have been trying to get my mom to help me find some one to asses me for disability but every time I ask about it she just blows it off and walks away.
I think she either doesn't want to accept that I am bad enough to be considered disabled. Either that or she thinks i just want free money.
Which is absolutely not the case bc I do not want free money. I want to be able to work for my money and earn it. the only reason I've decided I'm okay with being on disability is because I now have a plan to eventually get off it. We've been on it my whole life and it sucks it's awful.
My plan is to hopfully get good enough at baking that i can start selling stuff and slowly growing it into a buisness.
The only place I can make nice is my room. The rest of the basement is my sister's room, what used to be my mom's room but now it's just kinda gross and has totes in it and the old bathroom. Also the living room/kitchen but that is just dog area now.
I try to keep my room as nice as i can but I am still horribly embarrassed about it. Like last year we were gonna repaint my room so I scraped the paint off parts of my wall. I got too anxious to go through with it so now parts if my wall are scraped up and painted different colors.
Can't have any nice furniture (it'll get moldy) and can't afford any cool decorations. I try to make it mice with what I have though.
But yeah I am hoping the therapy works too. Thanks for reading and being supportive!
Is the source of this contained, meaning when it rains, do you get more dampness?
If there is any way you can move to another part of the house, I would suggest doing so. Or spend as little time in that room as possible. Make sure and go outside a lot too, to get lots of fresh air.
I am only saying this as I care about your health.
I have family members/age peers who managed to gain disability benefits when they were young. Their disabilities are the entire focus of their lives and they are miserable human beings. Based on that, I am with your mom on walking away from the idea of campaigning for a disability career. It is subsistence, at best.
I like the idea of building your baking skills into a career option. Ditto for your home improvement skills. When I hire professionals for home improvement projects, I pay more for labor than materials. Providing my own labor quite literally saves thousands of dollars.
I don't have anywhere in my house I can sleep sadly. The upstairs only has two bedrooms. One is my grandma's and the other is the bird room (where our pet birds live) we can't sleep in thete because it upsets them at night.
Since lake has his bathroom issue he can only be downstairs as if he was up here he would go on the carpet. I go outside every day and usually spend most of my time upstairs also.
The reason I've changed my mind is that I have a plan. The only way to actually start a business is if I have help. If you go on disability they have programs that help you start a business and they help you for like the first year or two I believe?
I just do not have enough money currently to start a business on my own. That's why I would need help with money. Were already struggling as is and we have been my whole life.
If I went on disability it would definitely be short term. My anxiety won't be this bad forever and once I get on my feet I hopefully won't need it anymore. So that is my master plan I guess. Haven't told my mom about it entirely so maybe if I did she would get it and be okay with it.
Okay..... but you know I am not thrilled about your mold situation. It sounds like the pets have their own rooms, but the people in the house need their own mold-free rooms too! :)
And I wish I could have a better room. But the birds have to have a room as Mark is not tame. He can't fly well and he has hurt himself trying to fly around the house. So he has his own room with our parakeet. As much as I'd love to have that room I cannot and I wouldn't want to get rid of him just to switch rooms. I wish it were as simple as just finding somewhere else to sleep but it is not.