Ok so, we do not know one another so my ability to help you is limited however, what I can do is offer things that helped me. We dont have exactly the same issues but maybe some of this will be useful for you.

I often had racing and intrusive thoughts, and i was often terrified when I liked some particular person even if it was just friendship and not going anywhere further. I learned, that my own thinking was not particularly healthy or wise or trustworthy so...in support groups i learned I had to share these thoughts with others, and listen to what people I trusted told me.

Just as one example, i used to feel and think that if i liked anyone the best thing i could do for them was leave them alone, because i did not believe I could be good for other people. As i shared these thoughts in support groups, others told me that I was wrong thinking this way, and in fact they told me that (most of them) found me to be compassionate and caring and they actually enjoyed me and my support. So I had to start, when i felt or thought things like i did, I used their words to counter what i felt and thought.

For me this was a process, and it took time for me to believe that I could actually be good not only for others or toward others, but also good for myself.

Some of your anxiety seems valid to me because often, if we are terrified of others liking us, or terrified of being hurt, often what I used to do is lash out, sort of as a way of hurting others before they could hurt me. When i was like that, eventually i realized i was not healthy enough to be in a relationship so I did not allow or persue close relationships for many years. it took me time to get better. Time, and a healthy support group, consisting of many different people, and alot of honesty with them, and hard work at facing and overcoming my fears.

I hope some of this may help you. Take care of yourself.

Hello adwitte77, welcome! You are definitely not alone here. Dating is stressful, meeting someone new is always such a gamble whether you have anxiety or not, so being on edge is normal. I have anxiety through the roof and find a strong cup of chamomile tea works great for me.. Have a cup before you go out perhaps? Maybe try it at home first and see how you like it. Also Lemon balm (also known as Melissa) tea, is amazing for anxiety. And if tea is not your cup of tea, I write in a journal to sort out my thoughts.. It really helps me release a lot of anxiety. Hope this helps!

Hello Adwitte. Welcome to DS where you are most definitely not alone.

A not so funny part of my own anxiety management is how easily and unpredictably my own anxiety escalates out of control. Just when I think I have ^it^ licked, life throws me an unexpected psycho snot wad and ? ? ? Zoom zoom. . . Off to Lala Land again! ! ! Sometimes the psycho snot wad is even a blessing but memories of blessings gone sour fill me with fears of repeat performances. What's a nut job to do?

I cope by keeping my anxiety management a daily ritual, whether I am currently suffering symptoms or not. These days I look at my anxiety management exercises as part of the spiritual diet which keeps me running at peak performance.

Sharing within my therapy support network is part of that spiritual diet. DS is a node on that therapy support network. Hope it serves you as well as it serves me.

Welcome aboard. You are not alone. Hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

Keep a private journal to help you sort through those thoughts to add positive words, images so you are able to move forward.

Best wishes as you find your better balance.

Thanks Everyone! I appreciate the feedback and support. I am feeling a little better today. One day at a time and one step at a time.

It is really hard not to be anxious these days! I know I have found myself in that condition more than I ever thought I would.
Please know we are here and will listen. It is hard to give advice but different ideas sometimes help.
Meeting someone you like is a good thing. Just go slow and you should be fine.
Take care