Well if you read my other post you probably saw that I was expecting my cousins to leave tonight (they've been here for a week) and I was so happy I felt very relieved because my anxiety has been spiking since they got here. Well apparently they are staying the night again and it really is throwing me for a loop. I had this picture in my mind that I'd be relaxing able to get some food down and maybe not have anxiety making it hard to eat anymore. But now all my plans changed and I just feel really weird. I've just kind if been laying here confused I didn't plan for this and since I've been feeling so sick I've kinda been on autopilot, meaning I'm not able to think much or make new plans for myself. They're leaving tomorrow hopefully but in the morning at like 9am my sister is leaving, meaning I will most likely have to watch her dog which is impossible seeing as how I need help even taking care of my own dog right now. I haven't really had time to fathom what I'll do when I wake up and I can't think straight enough to make a plan. I'm just kind of upset feeling like I am at my social limit and I've barely even talked to anyone the whole time. I just feel so drained and tired like anxiety and whatever sickness I have has knocked me down completely but it's still going strong even though it feels like it couldn't get me any worse. This is the longest I've had to deal with feeling this sick I think. I don't really have anything to compare this to to be able to say "I've been through worse so I'll get through this". Though I'm sure I will get through and I'll use this to help me later on, it's just really hard being so unsure already then having your plans messed up. It's almost 2am and I can't sleep. I'm just very spaced out I don't even feel like I'm really here right now. I think I might've done this on purpose without realizing it. Like I was so overwhelemd I just pushed myself out of reality. I guess I just have to keep pushing through though.