Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Feeling anxious and bad

Frogsoup
Frogsoup

Well today didn't go very well. Started off bad right from when I woke up. The past couple of days ive been making small lists with 3 or 4 things on it that i want to do for the day. The first thing on my list was make breakfast and I couldn't even do that bc we didn't have bread (I specifically wanted to make French toast and bacon)


I've been pretty spaced out and anxious and empty almost all day. Keep having scary thoughts too. Just trying to push through and I think I did okay. I was just kinda snappy and angry all day and didn't really say much to anyone. Both my mom and sister noticed. I was upset because I realized that someone on instagram blocked me. I always get so worried when I think someone has blocked me because I feel like I did something awful. Though in reality I literally block people even if their account looks slightly sketchy like everyone has the right to block whoever they want. It just makes you feel safe sometimes having people off your account.


But this was not even a person I'd ever talked to they actually ran a type of educational account and I thought they were really cool. I'm not mad at all I am glad that people use the block button whenever they feel it's needed because i know I use it a lot too. I just always feel like an awful person when someone I look up to even a little takes me off their account. So after I realized that i just kinda shut down a bit and didn't want to talk to anyone because all of the bad things I've ever done just came back to me and I was anxious that everyone hates me. Idk how to explain it. I just felt bad and like I don't deserve anything good. 


So that really sucked and it is still making me feel down. But I do have a few positive things to talk about at least. 


I've been trying to learn guitar the past few days and been practicing every day. So far I know 3 chords and am slowly getting better at switching between them quicker. I always wanted to learn like my entire life but I never did. The first time I started learning my guitar teacher (mom's old friend) took her money to buy drugs which I obviously didn't know bc I was in like first grade. I wrote him a letter saying if he didn't come back before the year was up I'd never play again. I'm trying it again now so hopefully it goes good. 


Also baked some chocolate chip cookie bars tonight and they came out very delicious. I'll get to have some for breakfast which is nice. Might get some pizza tomorrow so I guess I have that to look forward to. Also last positive thing, I figured out how to post pics on here so I've been posting some of the things i bake in my journal on my account. Not sure if that is what we are supposed to use it for but I love sharing it with other people so that's what I've been doing. 


Very sorry if this is too long I'm kinda nervous to post. I do post a lot here and today I just feel like I am annoying to everyone. So if you read this all thank you for your time and i really hope you guys are having a good day. 

Community LeaderMid
Mid
Take a moment and pat yourself on the back! You wrote it out! That's the important first step every single day.

You're making choices, you are choosing to do things! Hurrah!
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Good for you for playing guitar and for baking. If you ever want to post a picture on here of what you've baked, I'd love to see it.

Spending too much time on social media such as Instagram, can drag a person down. It gets to be more depressing than fun after awhile. People post up a bunch of stuff that isn't even real or true. It can be a big waste of time. You have better things to do! :)

Keep up the baking, music, and also take walks outside, get some fresh air. Not so much on the social media! :)
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Thanks guys. I am trying to do things and get stuff done instead of just laying around. But I think yesterday was a bit of an exception because I was also feeling sick and weak.

But to girlinCalif, i have posted a few pictures of things I've baked in my journal and it's public so everyone can see them.

I actually have been off of social media for like 2 months now barely ever getting on. Like 2 days ago was the first time I actually scrolled through Insta for a few minutes in like forever. Felt kind of normal which was nice as i havent felt that in a long time. but I could also feel my anxiety rising as I scrolled through. I miss it and I miss talking to people on there but I'm not in a good enough place to go back to it.
hyperpgal
hyperpgal
I know you are saying it was a rough day--but I think it sounds pretty awesome==so no frenchtoast--eggs and bacon are pretty yummy too! And the instagram thing probably has nothing to do with you directly. I really hate facebook and instagram and such--it has the power to rip you to shreds emotionally--if you don't have a super thick skin. Maybe she had some issue and just decided to clear out anyone who wasn't her closest most trusted friends....who knows!? when I was a kid I would call my friends-and if they were all out I would assume they were all someplace really fun, talking about how much of a jerk I was! Now--because of facebook--you can see the pictures....UGH! so just put that one out of your head!

I LOVE that you are learning to play guitar--I was too, before covid hit. You can play bunches of songs with just 3 chords!! go to

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com
and you can just search up songs with the chords you know (don't pay for anything-you don't have too)

and you baked!! how could this be a bad thing? :-)
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Thank you hyperpgal, you seem to always be good at finding the positives even when I can't. You are right about the blocking thing I didn't even think of it in that way. I really don't like Facebook lately because other people are beung very opinionated which technically is good! But it makes me anxious to see because sometimes I don't understand what they are saying and I don't know if I can call them "good" or "bad". Social media really skews your view of people and makes it hard to tell of they are someone you truly don't want to be associated with or not.

And thank you for the link I am gonna check it out right now! I think today I'm gonna learn a new chord so having some songs to try out will be fun.

And honestly, the chocolate chip cookie bars were probably the best part of the day. They are so freaking good I had some for breakfast earlier and I love them. I made a crap ton too because I doubled the recipe. Idk if you bake it not but if you've ever wanted to they are actually very easy. Like do it all in one bowl dump it into a pan and wait for it to be done easy. Here is a link to it if anyone comes across this post someday and just wants something to bake. I love his recipes and YouTube videos so much.

https://preppykitchen.com/chocolate-chip-cookie-bars/
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I just looked at your baking pictures and I thought I was on a professional baker's website and then I was like, Wow, WTG Frogsoup!

Very impressed. That cake? Wow! I have seen something similar in a bakery, and yours looked amazing and definitely like a bakery's. Those cupcakes, the different color swirl icing is awesome looking, how did you think to do it that way, yum.

Sure wish I could taste these. Great job. Enjoy!
Frogsoup
Frogsoup
Thank you girlincalif! That is so sweet of you^^ the cake I actually had lots of reference pics from online. My dad wanted a cake that looked very similar to it so I tried my best to recreate it. And the cupcakes I had seen many people do the color swirl thing so I watched a few tutorials and gave it a go. I originally was going for a more realistic vibrant rainbow but turns out it's pretty difficult to get vibrant colors with icing. Still a very pretty pastel though. I am hoping to one day sell some baked goods on a small scale but I'm not sure I'll do that yet. Thank you for the lovely compliments though!
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