This happened about a month ago...

He came home, everything was fine. I finally got to see him again (he is currently studying college in another city). Suddenly he says "Damn!" (although he says it was because of something else), and he asked me "when?". He looked worried... Then I realized he had seen my scars so I got a little uneasy... I quickly hid my arm, started moving my leg nervoulsy, my heart raced, I started sweating, breathing rapidly, blushed, I wanted to cry. I shook my head and looked down, I didn't want him to know. Just a couple days before I had cut myself worse than ever. I switched the subject but it didn't work. I finally said it happened the Saturday before and he went on asking for details as he realized that by then he was already in town and he got to see me that day. It wasn't his fault, but he couldn't help to think it was... I did it before we went out that day.
He made other questions such as "how many times it happened since the last time I told him", and demanded reasons I couldn't give. I didn't want him to know how many breakdowns I had, but didn't want to lie either. But he kept asking and he wouldn't let me hide, cover my face, look away or apologize... He hold me close with some kind of hug, and he insisted on looking me straight into my eyes...
The closeness, the possibility of him looking/touching my arm again, and of him getting scared/worried, and the need of holding my tears no matter what just intensified my anxiety.
He kept saying that it was fine, that he needed to know and wanted to help, that this didn't bother/scared him or made him mad, that it's not my fault it happens, and that he went through the same stuff (not exactly, he had panick attacks at random moments and would punch his head alot around 4 years ago), etc. He also tried to calm me down with some sounds such as a soft "shhh" (to which I would make a joke and say "okay, I'll shut up" lol), which didn't really help itself, but I found it cute that he tried so some of the tension did go away afterall.

After I confessed there were around 10 times of stuff happening he kissed my arm (he had to close his eyes for me to allow him to hold it after various attempts), and he made me promise I'll let him know everytime it happens... After 10 minutes of doubt and extreme anxiety I accepted. At least he is conscious (because of his own experience) that it's not possible for me to talk during the breakdown and he allowed me not to call, but to tell him in some other way hehe :D

(Btw, he has seen my scars by accident before but these were worse)

Besides all of this, my maid (who also took care of me and my siblings when kids, so she is part of family now) accused me in front of him of almost not eating at all lately and told him to "reprehend" me and to make me eat... Since a couple of months ago eating has become overly difficult for me, even more than before. Also, I'm back to vomiting when I can't handle more food intake... But damn, don't give him that responsibility! It's not his job to fix me!

When she came into the tv room with brownies, and later with dinner, it took me quite a long time to "finish" (I couldn't make it with the brownie, he helped me at last to "destroy the evidence" lol thanks), I took a bite every 10 minutes.

My boyfriend wasthere, like a nurse, making sure I ate, and that made me feel guilty... I shouldn't be making "scenes" on many of our few chances to meet, nor making him go through all this crap just for me. I'm glad he is so supportive but it's not his responsibility to be my father, shrink, babysitter or nurse.
He said he was going to ask me how I feel every five minutes :s