I'm happy I was still up reading on DS tonight. I'm so sorry you were kicked out of a group. It seems to me the rules need to be stated more clearly, as unspoken rules don't seem like rules to me at all. I'm sorry you're down. That must have been extremely humiliating, and I'd feel rejected too. I hope when you go back they explain things more clearly. Its difficult to find support. I was in an ED support group, and got kicked out, for not doing well enough on my meal plan. I felt rejected and frustrated because I was doing the best I felt I could at the time. Regardless, it still hurts. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Thank goodness for tomorrows. Hugs!

I am sorry you are having such a tough time---maybe try and look at the good--you aren't having panic attacks--that is good---you can come here for support--unspoken rule? how can they kick you out for that-if it is unspoken then the boundaries were never set-it does seem punitive...maybe you will find a better therapist--and maybe you can look into new groups for the summer-maybe pursue some interests-take lessons in something, or do something creative....maybe you can find a really really support group not so ready to dump its members...........?

Try to remember the great week you had.

Is there a way you can be reinstated back into the group? If you understand the consequence of your action I'm sure they'd let you back in. What do you think?

I got blocked on facebook today. :D Sometimes we don't know how petty someone is until they show us. You can't stop being you: you can't live your life with one eye over your shoulder making sure you don't upset anybody.

Maybe there is a new group out there just waiting for a friendly sort like you? :) Or maybe this lot will invite you back when they have untangled their unmentionables.

Thank you so much for your support. I means a LOT to me.

I don't think reinstatement is on the horizon. The leader is really pissed. But I wouldn't go back anyway because if she can arbitrarily toss me out, I'd always be walking on egg shells.

eshaw - I agree that the rules really need to be spelled out better. It makes NO sense to me to get kicked out of a group that's supposed to be supported - whether it's an Eating Disorders group or otherwise. Sort of defeats the purpose of the group. And the next day was better - thank you!

hyper - I think you're right. I'm sort of at that place where I don't need therapy as much as just support. And it doesn't have to be like support for an issue in life. I guess I'm looking for community. So I'm looking for that. I think I'm going to do more with my work and also the hobbies I have. Just take more classes and reach out to friends more.

poq - The leader was really clear that I was going to burn in hell, so I'm thinking I'm out for good.

bridgie - I love everything you said. Yes, she showed me exactly who she is and I need to sit with that instead of wishing she would be what I expected her to be. That's such a huge lesson. It's absolutely true that you can't live your life trying not to offend. That's so exhausting! And I love untangling the unmentionables!

I think it bothers me that I don't get a chance to say goodbye to the group but not much I can do about that. I think I just needed some support - and you guys are so awesome in that department. And I wanted to check my own reaction. I felt it was cruel but didn't know if I was over-reacting.

not to beat a dead horse...but you are "going to burn in Hell?" wth???

that doesn't sound like a support group --that sounds like judgement central---and a good riddance--seriously--no human has the right to tell you that.(unless you like, stomped on some puppies or something)..seriously--wth kind of a support group tells people that??? cripes.....I think God stepped in and let you know that they were lacking--I hope you find some TRULY supportive people to surround yourself with....!!!

I dont have any meaningful friends and im better off without them because the shits are a waste of my energy. I realized somethings things are actually worse when I choose to meet and socialize with others. It brings in more unecessary problems and the fucks love to nit pick the hell out of me and my issues. So why be around shit if I have the choice to spend quality time with myself.

Thanks everyone. Your support means a lot.

I realized this was a blessing in disguise because it felt SO very like my family of origin.

As a child/teen/young adult, I always felt like I was SUCH a screw up. I felt like I couldn't get anything right and like I was just a horrible person. I always felt it was my fault when anyone in my family was offended.

Going through it as an adult, I can recognize that in almost every situation I went through as a child, either it was a total misunderstanding (I was working from a different set of assumptions but no one was right or wrong) or it was a massive overreaction on their part.

This has been ENORMOUSLY helpful to me and I feel like I've dumped about 300 lbs. of baggage.

I know I'm late to this thread, however, I'm so glad everyone has the positive to give when a "break-up" happens.

An "unspoken" rule is often used to keep control of the group's balance in a single manner. I had people contact me outside of the group I was removed from, and every single person was able to name a single individual as the culprit. That being said, I didn't need to confront this person for my well-being. I just decided that the next group I attended, I'd be more observant, and it took me several tries to find one that fit my current motivation.

So glad you're moving forward, and using this to learn how much you've improved your well-being! Hurrah!

The hurt doesn't always disappear fast, and yet when we think of the good memories, it seems to be less in the front. Best wishes to your healing.