I am terrified of dying and going into complete darkness at any time. Like, I'll be driving and think my heart will stop or my brain will have an problem that will instantly kill me. It's very scary. While *I* know it's irrational my anxiety doesn't so it's a battle in my mind. Even hearing or seeing an ambulance freaks me out!! I hope this doesn't make you feel worse or scare you...I was hoping to relate and understand. You're fully supported here and i hope you're seeing a good therapist since they help. Also, many people find comfort in religion and that's great! I personally don't resonate with anything on a spiritual level.

You didn't make me feel bad at all. The things that you mentioned don't bother me but I get frequent migraines so that makes me constantly think about aneurysms and that scares me. It's always when I'm alone and in the quiet when I think about dying and go into an anxiety attack. Sometimes I think maybe the more I think about it I won't get so scared about it, like I'll get used to the thought or something but that never works. I don't see a therapist because I can't afford it but I wish I could.

In biology classes, fear of death is considered to be part of the survival instinct and as natural as the desire to breathe. "Curing" it is thoroughly counter-productive. Ditto for the anxiety which keeps us watching for danger.

"Hyper-vigilance" is a huge monster in my own psycho baggage car. The therapy exercises which have worked for me in that piece of my psychotherapy are geared toward recognizing and training those natural instincts rather than trying to "cure" them. I *should* be afraid of dying, but the anxiety of seeing death potentials everywhere sure can suck the joy out of living. It be a question of balance.

So theorates the Arf. . .

Gentle support while you find what works for you, Mercedes.

I used to be terrified of death, but now the mystery adds to my life! I can’t waste my life worrying about what might not be. You care that if God exists you might go to hell for your doubts! The fact that you care will put you in heaven!

Took about 5 years after I became atheist for the fears to stop bothering me. There are a number of books and youtube shows that can help. PM me if you're interested.

I've raised both of my kids atheist in a very Christian and often hostile world. Both had the choice to believe or not, and neither chose to. (The irony...is that none of their Christian friends ever were given the same freedom of choice.)

Thanks to all of you for your words. Everything you guys said has helped me in some way.

I worked at a funeral home for 30 years. I also had a brother, my only sibling and best friend die 42 years ago in a motorcycle accident.
So you could say I've had a lot of experience in that department.

I have done the organized religion thing and swung the other way into atheism several years back while in college. I had a World Religion class which made me do some research into the various religions and it ended up with critical thinking and questioning everything I was taught from the cradle by society and parents, and location, were seriously flawed.
I mean why would a loving god create and then destroy his own creation? Why would a baby who had no say in being born into a family that might be the wrong religion get cancer and die......and spend eternity in hell.

IMO hell is a control tactic created by the church to keep ppl in fear so they would be easy to control. I do not want to love out of fear as that is not love.....that is manipulating and forcing someone to do what another person or persons tell you (isn't free will about choice?).
I grew up forced to love my earthly father out of fear or he would beat me.
I'm sorry.....that is not love...not even close.
Also, why does the church tell you that you must be poor becuz money is the root of all evil, yet the church has more money than god. The pope alone could end world hunger 10 times over if he would sell half his properties.....and still be wealthy!!!!
Why does god care more about a sport team winning while millions are starving in third world countries?
Oh well. This is just the tip of the iceberg questions that sent me down the rabbit hole.
Ok.....done with that rant.

However, not all is lost. I delve into Alan Watts, and lately David Icke who explains their experiences and conclusions of this world and beyond.
It makes more sense to me and has opened a whole new rabbit hole which was opened while my anxiety was through the roof!!!
I found my way out of my anxiety and panic attacks after decades of horrible sicknesses and pharma messing me up.

Death is nothing to be feared. After working on deceased for 3 decades, I encountered many paranormal activity.....mostly good.
My house was haunted, but the person finally moved on a few years back.
It kinda blew my atheist theory out the window.
I now believe there is a energy/universe/source/or god if you will the is all loving.
This is not the end and death is just like walking from one room into another. The only difference is all the suffering, pain, and hatred stops and you are free of everything.
This is just what I have come to find that is working for me.
I hope you would do research and listen or read and come to your own conclusion.
We are considered "consciousnesses" and pure energy which never dies (energy can not be killed or put out......it just moves on).

I send love and light!

I am also quite scared of death . i always see things as signs I am going to die lol and its quite crazy. Everytime I feel a pain here or a little pulsating in my head i think oh crap a stroke...or if i feel a panic attack coming on I say oh no a heart attack....i have lived this way for a few years now and it sucks...one thing that has helped me is doing all i can to make sure i can control everything that is in my control. So in other words how i eat , how i sleep , exercise etc. The other day i found out i have really low potassium levels and now my sole goal in life is to eat all the potassium rich foods i can lol ...so i guess things like that do help me.

This might make you think a bit. You know how when you are in a dream you think the dream is real....actually to you in that state the dream is real, you feel in the dream, you feel scared , happy, horny , whatever it is it is real....whaaaat if the life we live is nothing but a dream ...and when we die we simply wake up into the real world....its something i think about a lot..the idea of this being nothing more than a simulation ...remember the dream feels 100% real until we wake up

Im glad that I'm not the only one. I felt I was going crazy. I will share what has helped me with my attacks. I use the 5 method. It has helped tremendously. You just have to believe in it. 5. Name 5 things you can see in a room. 4. Name 4 things you can feel. 3. Name 3 things you can hear right now. 2. Name 2 things you can smell right now. 1. Name 1 good thing about yourself. This is called grounding. Another thing that helps me is acceptance. I accept that I'm having an attack and then I use my 5 method. I hope that helps.

@MsBlank1 I have asked myself some of the same questions. I almost which I had paranormal experiences of my own, positive ones at least. I feel like this would bring me comfort and take away my fear of death. Do you go to church?

@WardoftheState I may try that myself thank you.

@ Mercedes. No, I do not go to church any more. I do not care for organized religion as it is too violent. It promotes hatred, division, war.....and the god of the bible is evil....hates women.....is obsessed with foreskins and blood. He does genocide. He sounds bipolar and is always angry. That is just a few of the many horrors.
If you don't believe me, then you haven't read the bible all the way through.

The churches put me through hell. Trust me....I tried several and they all were the same.
I had religion shoved down my throat for years. I choose love and peace without a leader. I'm a free thinker.

@MsBlank1 I believe you 100%. Those are some of the many reasons I don't believe in the bible. I find that churchgoers or sainted people are some of the most evil, judgemental, perverse people I've ever met. I haven't gone to church in a very long time but my boyfriend's family is very religious. So for their benefit we may tag along once a year or so on a holiday or something.

I don't wannna judge those that do organized religion. They are free to believe. However, I deserve the same respect.
It just isn't for me any more since doing my own research, observation, experience, and questioning the whole thing that never seems to have an answer. The bible is cherry picked to make it sound wonderful.
I am perfectly capable of reading, doing research, and thinking for myself (it's called critical thinking).
Again, it is not for me to judge or brow beat someone into opening their mind to other possibilities.
I do believe in an energy that I choose to call source/universe.