Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
We didn't get the "Case Closed" stamp in time to put it under our Christmas tree, but it is now official. CPS and all its affiliates are officially out of our lives. It is good news for them, as well. The unsung heroes of Social Services are harshly over worked and always thrilled when one of their case files receives a happy ending. Who knew that inheriting orphans came with so much paperwork, but I'll still take this plan over the plan of turning them out into the street gangs without so much as a prayer.
I have taken to calling my 3 GKs, "Foster Charges" to avoid the grandparent stereotypes which assume the presence of a middle generation. In addition to being unrealistic in our strictly personals, the stereotypes are a harsh reminder that my son and his wife are dead. Allot of healing has happened since that fateful day in September, 2019, but we still aren't ready for the stereotyped reminders.
So. . . What do I call my GKs now for the random players who can't possibly know the many sore spots attached to orphanhood? The grandparent stereotpyes still don't cover the demands of custodial care. They are officially discharged from the foster care system, but? ? ? "Foster Charges" covers the guardianship angles more succinctly than "grandchildren." Big Sis (almost 5) wants to call us, "Mommy and Daddy," but that feels like a dishonoring of the deceased parents who loved them dearly. Double so since my DIL accused me of trying to steal the affection of her children more than once. As I attempted to assure her every time, mothers are not replaceable, but in Pre-K conversation, I am filling the role. It feels unhealthy to keep correcting her.
What a long, strange trip it's been. . . Are we Normal yet?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
My aunt was the guardian of her grandchild from age 4 until adulthood, and she’s 30 now and still calls my aunt “mom.” My aunt was so worried about that but kind of just let her call her whatever she felt comfortable calling her. Her father, my aunt’s son, is still in the picture and she calls him dad. None of it makes sense and yet, it just makes sense, haha! Whatever works. Normal schnormal I guess.
Happy New Year!
Thank you for helping me connect those dots, RMB.
And, ya know, mom and dad are both biological and sociological terms. Some of kids' best friends (a brother and sister) are both adopted and they've always called their adopted parents mom and dad because they are doing the job of raising them. I think we're able to hold in our minds and our hearts the idea of "the mom who birthed me" and "the mom who raised me" both at the same time without diminishing either. Just my $.02.
Again, congrats on the late xmas gift!
There has been more than once on this trail of tears that I feel like we have been mourning the loss of our grand relations as much as we have been grieving Mommy and Daddy.
Great things are growing here, but the price still feels high. . .
No pain no gain?
Think I'll just let **that** mystery be.
Here's what a friend did, the grands call her grandmom and sometimes, they call her gmom.
It is a HUGE change to go from living in separate places to sharing a single home. To do the 'grand' things, the friend calls it 'grand' time.
Best wishes and you're doing a wonderful job moving with the grief and changes.
And another hug ... You have all been through so much.... Healing prayers sent....xo
And I like your wisdom and insights here! Finding a name/title is a difficult path. Find what works for you all, especially what the kids like. Maybe ask them what they want to call you after presenting them (at least the oldest) with a general sense of the dilemma and your concerns. They may surprise you with understanding and with a good solution.
And a thought on loss - the kids are so little, they can’t really understand or even know what they lost, really. I mean, they felt it I’m sure, and I’m not belittling their experience at all, but just recognizing that their knowledge of the world is so limited due to their age alone, that they can’t fully comprehend the loss the way you do. For now, you are their everything.
Best of everything to you and the littles. You can do this and be proud of managing the life and emotional challenges it brings.
And I am so pleased to see this news for you!!!
Check. We're done.
Girl howdy, it feels good to say that.
Big Sis was only three when Mommy and Daddy died. At that time she had already been in protective custody in two different homes for nearly a year. "Mommy" is hot topic in Pre-K. I mostly feel like I should just be there by whatever name she cares to call me.
So far, big 2nd grade sophisticate that he is, Big Bro is still fine with "Gammy and Gampy." It's all the same to Baby Sis. She just turned 2. She still uses more sign language than words.