Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So, I'm a assistant teacher for a daycare and one of the girls there is like super sweet I absolutely love her. She's 8 so she's pretty smart and just a ray of sunshine, lots of friends as well. She really reminds me of a younger me, happy friendly and so full of life. We were talking one day at lunch time and she's telling me all about her friends (she has 102, she counuted) and asks me about my friends. Now I only have a few super close friends that I tell 'certain things', and talking to anyone over the age of 11-12 gives me really bad anxiety. Now obviously I'm not gonna tell that to a kid, so I say "Well I only have a few friends. I don't talk to the other teens very much hun." "Aren't you a teen too teacher?" "Yes I am girlie." She then looks at me and says "You need to get better at making friends." At this point I was drinking water, so I start choking and finally say "Yes I do sweetie."
Now I've gotten lectures about this subject from my mom, which then spikes said anxiety and makes me not want friends even more. But when a 8 year old is telling you that you need friends, thats on a whole other level.
So, does anyone have advice about how to make friends? I am really bad at that
I am so serious when I say this, the age range I get along with the most is 2-12, babies freak me out, teenagers freak me out. And God forbid that an adult tries to talk to me, full panic attack mode. So, YES SWEET CHILD I VERY MUCH NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TALK TO OTHER TEENS.
I need help with life :|
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
You can do this.
My eldest foster daughter (5) is also a friend counter. The tragic fact is that her life was too unstable for her to have friends before she came to us at 3.5. Corona crowned a few months later and. . . Ya know, ya know. It's been in all the headlines. She compensates for her lack of social opportunity by counting anybody she encounters as, "Friends." She can't count to 102 yet, but she counts as high as her academic development allows. She is not the first 5-year-old I have encountered with this quirk. In my strictly personal observation, it is somewhere around pre-adolescence (11-12) that friendship begins to redefine itself and carry tougher requirements.
My grownup take away from all that is to drop the search for "Friends" and work on just being friendly. Perhaps I'm only justifying my pre-corona social distancing, but it sure calms my social anxiety to look at every social encounter as life in motion instead of a potential life-long commitment in need of strict definition.
But that is me. . .
Continued support while you untangle the mysteries of friendship for yourself.
I didn't have friends at all when I was your age. It took a long time. I had a very lonely existence growing up, I was in my own world. I remember I cried a lot, and summers were just horrible, everyone together going to beaches, bbq's etc. Me alone in my room crying.
After a while I grew a bit older and got some permanent jobs. THAT'S when I started making friends, becuase by working you form a bond with co-workers, especially new ones at a job. I did leave my long term job after a while, but I did make an extremely close best friend through it, and after many, many years we are still friends. I know it's hard right now, but you need to give it more time. It will happen. You may not be a social "Expert", but you'll learn as you go along. Good luck to you!!
How do you make friends? You study how that 8 year old works the room, and try practicing some of that in your own life.
Now I wouldn't normally tell someone to copy a child lol...but you said...she reminded you of what YOU WERE LIKE as a kid that age. So she is reminding you of what you use to be like. That you is still there!
Be engaging, ask questions, listen, bring good energy when you walk into a room, smile, treat others they way you want to be treated. But don't entertain those that bring you down or drain you.
Socializing is a muscle. The more you work it...the more natural it feels and eventually will become subconscious.
Sending you light and love!
And consider that you don't really need bunches of friends---a few good friends are worth more than a crowded room of acquaintances.
I love kids--they are so honest!
One good thing may be to do things in group settings that you like to do. And join in on conversations slowly. I joined art classes and for the first few weeks didn't really speak or join discussions, and forced myself to join in every once in a while. It is a bit awkward at times, but sometimes it works out - most of all, congratulate yourself for getting out there!
1. Decide if you really want this. Sometimes you like to do what you want, and some like privacy as I do. I like watching a movie I want alone, rather than talking with 5 people over what we should watch and perhaps getting someone else's choice.
2. Be upbeat. Greet people with a smile and enthusiasm, Yeh, Jean's here.
3. Try to understand different types of people what they like, what they do. Be a good listener, genuinely interested in other people's work, interests and other things.
4. Don't hold grudges, sometimes people are not in good moods or say things that can be misinterpreted.
5. Be a good friend. Be genuine.