Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
It has been a hard, hard storm season since Spring of 2019 when my retirement life was displaced by involvement in a protective custody case surrounding my 3 grandchildren. At the time, the children were 5, 2 and 8 months. The parents were desperate to regain custody of their children, butttttttaaaaa. . . In September 2019, they were both killed in a fatal car wreck on their way to visit the children here on the farm, a 3 hour drive north of their urban residence. The children automatically became Wards of the State, tightly wrapped in bureaucracy. I have taken to calling my GKs, "Foster Charges" because the empathy based on grandparent stereotypes is downright painful. ALL those stereotypes assume the presence of the Mommy and Daddy we are grieving the loss of.
Throwing the Corona upheavals into the middle of all this domestic drama has felt like cruel and unusual punishment.
What a long, strange trip it has been. . .
It appears that the court case is nearing closure. CPS and all the supporting bureaucracy may soon be out of our living room. The domestic upheaval has stabilized enough that we are in danger of getting sorely neglected farm operations back on track. Hubby and I have made some profound progress in our traditional marital dysfunctions.
I am terrified to believe in the progress. My tendency to delusions of granduer is clinically confirmed, on multiple occasions, by multiple clinics. Worse than yet another proof of my mental illness, if the progress is real, it hurts to have rugs pulled out from under you. Is that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel yet another fast moving train?
Just saying. . .
Again I leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
I understand being scared of progress away from the pain and whatnot. When it's been one of the only constants for so long you come to trust in it's presence, and the idea that it could go away seems like a hoax... like it's going to come back twofold as soon as you've accepted it's absence. But, as my therapist tells me, we have to embrace both the good and the bad.
Good thoughts and best wishes being sent your way.
I feel for you. You have my support. You are a survivor and I know life has been tough for you. But you have such a way about you that I admire. You have turned your life around in such a positive way. And I give you a lot of credit. Because your life wasn't easy to live. You have made so much progress and have come along way. I send you positive vibes and wish you all the best. Don't stop being you. Italianmomma4ever
It has often been suggested that starting my life as a child prostitute has given me an endurance far beyond the average Normie. With a humble pause to salute my fellow survivors who did not survive past 30 and/or never escaped that ugly world, I often wonder if that is so. It would not have been possible without ALLOT of help from my therapy support network.
Fast forwarding to the here and now. . . What a long, strange trip it's been.
Onward through the fog. Prayers ongoing.
Jane, the cases surrounding child sex trafficking survivors are complex and my own case has been in psychotherapy since 1972. The therapy has not focused on generalized labels so much as specific symptoms. "Child Sex Trafficking" is label enough for me. Standardized therapy remains unavailable. Since 2K, the dx I have handed out to label loving bureaucrats is PTSD.