Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Been awhile....need some kind words

KaneMuro
KaneMuro

Hello everyone, you all were so wonderful to me the first time I posted. I've been disassociating ever since, it seems. If you'll be so kind, I'd like to just write some things out. I don't have many people to talk to besides my wife, and she is facing down her own depression/anxiety. 


I had a breakdown right before the first lockdowns began last year. My boss very generously allowed me to take a leave of absence. It's been 15 months and my father has been supporting us. This has been the biggest source of misery for me. I have tried doing some freelance work online, but I can't seem to think or focus on anything. My wife works in an online industry that never has consistent work, and she has been let down by company after company. 


I'm returning to work soon. I work in a field that requires background checks, and mine has taken over three and a half months to process. This has been a stretch of time that I feel is trying to kill me. My boss told me I should get word this week, but now my mind is starting to say it's all a lie.


I also have a poor cat who needs vet help. I don't know how to tell my dad we need even more help this month because I was sure I'd be starting at the beginning of the month. The new company that just hired my wife is already ghosting her. Nothing is affordable anymore.


I starting praying even though I'm an atheist. I'm just so scared and tired all the time.  I'm trying to have gratitude for the things that I have in my life, but my mind feels like it's destroying itself. 


Take care of yourselves, good people. I don't know what I seek. Probably just some kind words, like I wrote in the subject. Bless you all, and I will add you to my prayers.

rmb
rmb
Have either you or wife considered doing different kinds of work? There are so many places hiring right now. It just seems like if there ever was a good time to branch out and try something new, this may be it.
Tired
Tired
Call some animal shelters to ask if they know of low cost vet care. Hoping things improve for you. Try spending time do something that is calming to you each day. Listening to music, exercise, etc.
Tropicaloo
Tropicaloo
You have a lot to deal with right now. Don’t give up and believe better times are ahead. You’re fortunate to have help, I’m sure you’d do the same for him.
mtd
mtd
Words to console aren’t really useful to me so i don’t automatically give them to others, unless it involves sickness and death. By nature I’m a problem solver, don’t know if I’m good at it but It’s what I do. I recommend starting therapy if you haven’t already, and researching everything anxiety. Educating ourselves on the ugly beast is a part of the recovery, know thy enemy. Look for ways to help yourself, because in the end, it’s what you can do for yourself better than anyone else can.
Brockster
Brockster
The past 18 months have not been easy for anyone, and it definitely sounds like you've had a rough time of it. I'm sorry for that. But it also sounds like you may be getting to the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Everything is slow right now, so I'm not surprised that your background check is taking longer than expected. Fingers crossed that it does come back soon.

I think, for your cat, calling the humane society is a great idea. They often have vets on staff and may be able to work something out with you, or point you at someone else who will, given the situation.

Hang in there, and reach out as often as you need/want.
jannytheresa
jannytheresa
Hi You're doing the very best that you can. This all sounds so difficult. Yet you reached out for help here. I wish that I had the right words for you.. I have my own issues and understand how difficult life can become. Just keep doing what you're doing--the best that you can.
Sending support, love and kindness.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
You sound like a kind man. Hopefully, you will be back to work soon. Go ahead and ask for more help for the cat. Your cat is a family member. That is nice that you are praying. I try to pray every night. I don't know if it was on here or a group that I belong to on Facebook but this girl said she goes to her state mental hospital and gets free therapy. I guess she works because she said the hospital charges the insurance company but there are no co-pays. She even sees someone for medicine. Just a thought.
arfie
arfie
Welcome back, Kane. If you popped in for kind words and support more often, juggling all the items on that staggering list might be a little easier. Maybe. For sure, emotional support makes a huge diff in my own state of mind when life keeps sending me shit storms.

Steadying support while you work it through. You are not alone.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
Covid has been tough for a lot of families including my own. My suggestion would be to just address your issues or problems in small pieces. So let's say you want to develop an added skill which may be marketable or investigate some job opportunities. Work on that task and if you did 4 things on your list for that goal, tell yourself you did well.

There was an article called Winning Takes Care of Itself, and it focuses focus on developing good habits and processes. If you work hard good things can happen. I have a family member who have done very well in interviews and here are some suggestions if you're looking for another job,

1. Research Do a better job of understanding the company than anyone. Come in prepared.

2. Get allies This may apply for a position within your own company. When the marketing manager evaluated him, the manager had gotten 5 calls from people in the company recommending this applicant though he was the youngest one for the job.

3. Deal directly with any challenges Ask if the hiring manager if he has any concerns.

4. The Plan Here's the centerpiece, for the third interview, you come in with a 30 and 90 day plan of what you will do if hired.
rmb
rmb
I’m a super pragmatic person, to the point of over simplifying sometimes. But that over simplifying helps me to not stay stuck in my head. In my own mind, pragmatism seems contrary to having anxiety, because being anxious seems complete opposite to pragmatism. But approaching things that have occurred in my life with a problem solving approach has saved me from drowning in the overwhelming nature of fear and despair.

You have support here and it sounds like you have support from family, from your boss. That IS kindness. Embrace it.
KaneMuro
KaneMuro
Thank you all for your advice and kindness. I need it and I am so grateful for it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!
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