Do you live alone? Do you work outside your home? With this pandemic, alot of people are suffering from isolation. You have reached out to this group - that is a start in socialization.

I'm so sorry, I remember being bullied and worrying about fights and that was hard to get over. Good luck.

Thanks guys, I do live alone now as the stress of my situation resulted in the breakdown of my relationship. So over the last 8 years I've just accepted that, Because of the lack of police support every time I started dating again, the stalker would turn up and scare potential boyfriends off. So just stopped for years, My self esteem wasn't great ny then, and when I got the chance I moved away.

Have you considered a weapon? Or a really huge territorial dog? A security system? as for getting out--I would plan at least one outing each week--go to someplace you'd like that is low risk--lots of people around-well lit..just so you feel secure...and make yourself go...even if you only end up spending 10 mins there---just do this every week-maybe push the time up..and hopefully you will build confidence.

Has the stalker left you alone since you moved?

What is the most important thing you want to do first?

Self defense classes are a great way to learn how to move, balance, and build confidence in protecting your self.

Best wishes finding your better balance.

Get a dog. A Rottweiler if you can.. They are loyal and love to be under your feet and obeying you. Studies show petting a dog can reduce anxiety. And having a loyal friend that can scare someone away by standing and barking should keep any stalkers away.
I cant imagine my life with out a four legged best friend security system!

And, I forgot...those feelings need to be expressed and released.

Everything mentioned is excellent to give you physical balance. The mental balance in knowing physically you are capable of protecting yourself will help you work through the mental and emotional balance.

I am so sorry to hear this and I agree that the police can't handle these types of situations the way we feel they should because they are bound by the confines of the law.

I agree on the dog if it's something allowed where you live. Sounds silly but you can order angry dog barking audios from Amzn, plus you can find them on youtube. and make your own recordings. I had researched this because we are having problems with some neighbors.

It sounds like you're in a private home but a security system is worth its weight in gold. I'm talking about cameras and a dvr if you can afford it. (Once again, we put one in due to the neighbors. Strangely enough, the vandalism stopped so now it's moved onto a court case which fuels my anxiety to the max.)

It's understandable why this situation would make you reclusive and anxious both in and out of your home We've all heard the stalker stories. I really feel for you and am trying to put myself in your place.

I tihink I would only go out through the day. There's safety in numbers. If you have someone or friends/family that can go with you, that may ease your feelings of anxiety.

I don't know if you're worried about this guy getting into your home or not, but I think I'd seek out a security firm to look at your dwelling. He/she can advise of any vulnerable areas and correct them. Bright LED motion lights are great. We have the solar ones and they work great. We put more up due to the neighbors and I joked that you could land a plane in our backyard at night.

Good luck to you. .Maybe I gave you more info than you wanted, but, hey, that's me.

Thank you so much all, wow I'm overwhelmed (in a good way) by all your great advice and positives messages, so glad I found this place.

I am only renting and I live in a second floor apartment with two other neighbours in the building. I HOPE and think the stalker doesn't know where I live now, but the city I live in is fairly small with regards to the shopping mall, cafes etc so I feel going into town I would possibly come across him. I have thought about getting an alarm system installed, will definately look into that, some kind of cctv would be ideal.

Regarding getting a dog, I'd love too but I have a cat (who isn't the most social of creatures (bit like her owner) so it wouldn't be fair on her, plus my landlord wouldn't allow either. I have stopped working due to this, so now I freelance from home, I know this has probably made my situation worse, but I just wanted to feel safe again. I feel after so many years I need to face up to things, so I wll think about going out for a few minutes during the day...just need a "brave" day. Thanks all!

Face the fear and it will go away. I struggled a bit way back when I was first on my own again after a stalker. You keep the doors lock and a light on and just sleep, then each time morning comes and you are awake to see the sun light you made if. For me it just became easier, I would eventually go to sleep and know i would wake up in the morning.

It's the same thing going out, just go and it gets easier.