Hello. You are not alone in this situation... I had my anxiety under control for almost a year and now it's becoming gradually worse. Maybe just try to stay positive, I know thats so hard to do! But I have noticed that if I constantly tell myself throughout the day that I had my anxiety under control before so I can do it again, then those are the days I feel much better. Is it possible that you could sit down and talk with her? Maybe explain yoir feelings.. I know thay some people come off rude until they are confronted about it. I wish you the best.

How did you get medication before - any way to go that route again? Because although certainly no one wants to be on medication, we also must function.

Is there any way to get another job? I know you like your job, but if it's negatively impacting your life like this, moving to another position might be something to consider.

I guess you could talk to her about whatever issues there are - but I'm guessing you've thought about this? Is she a workplace bully? Do you need to talk to your supervisor about the situation?

Hi guys. Thank you for commenting and the great advice. I have thought about talking to her but she will not communicate with me. She always just wants to push me around. She has a higher title than me, so I guess she feels like she has that right? I could go to my supervisor but they're really good friends inside and outside of work. So it's kind of scary to think it could turn on me

Try this. You know this person is rude, bossy, and hard to work with. That is your perspective of the situation. You know this person is friends professionally and personally with your supervisor.
Separate the two. Decide how you can make it easier to work your normal way without changing anything, changing one thing, and changing the way you react and respond to this person. How this person behaves towards you is not your problem, and it does not change your work method (...).
Second, you keep your behavior, attitude, and work ethics on standard around this person always, no matter how they are behaving. Their behavior is not your problem.
Third, it's not your problem to fix. You are responsible for how you work, not this person.
I hope this helps. I hope it gets better for you!

I have had a few times since I've been off meds that I've felt I was coming unstuck. I've questioned being off meds a few times. Recently i had a crisis and went back on them.

within a week I thought "i'm not doing this!" and stopped. Bloody hell. Chemical taste in my mouth. heart pounding, blood flowing through body, taking sedatives to sleep , almost impossible to get up in the morning. Mouth so dry it beggars belief.

No. And getting myself addicted ("dependant") again? For what?

It gave me that little perch to sit on for a while and realise that no, I personally don't want to climb that hill again. It's nice and high up there but you have to come down eventually. because meds aren't good for you long term.

You're having a wobble, a bit of a crisis. See if you can take the rudder and hold it steady again. What does it take to get hold again? Sleep? vitamins? Good eating? lots of water? Going swimming or having a weekend out in the mountains/lake/beach to reconnect?

Find that thing that you can do to pull your centre back into the centre. Learn how to ride it, how to steer it, how to feed yourself emotionally.

Oh and find someone you can vent to about this woman. And keep a diary somewhere she can't find it (password protected folder on your computer?) and write it all out when things happen. I have a ghastly person I have to work with. Venting to a non-worker friend, and writing a diary of happenings, helps ENORMOUSLY.

You guys are awesome and seriously give me the best advice. I'm definitely going to try the writing it down method. I love hearing all your stories and things you've went through and handled.

But I wanted to update you. I finally just had enough the past two days and finally just broke down and told my supervisor. She didn't sound to concerned, but she is going to come into the clinic within the next two weeks to monitor and address the situation

It makes me so nervous because June is going to know I told and hate me even more