Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Anxiety interfering with daily life

luvpt08
luvpt08

I have dealt with anxiety/depression for several years.  It has been worse over the past year since my grandmother broke her hip.  I constantly fear the phone will ring and something will be wrong.  I am always checking my phone to make sure no one has called.  I am not my grandmother's primary caregiver but I am the other person that her care would fall to if something were to happen to her primary caregiver.  Things have been really stressful lately as her primary caregiver is dealing with her own issues and caregiver burnout.  My grandmother really needs to be placed in a facility but I'm having difficulty getting her primary caregiver to consent to this and I cannot do this on my own.  I am not sleeping well due to anxiety.  The constant worry is beginning to really interfere with my life and I'm having difficulty performing my job as well as I should as I'm always checking my phone or getting upset.  I have seen a counselor in the past but it's been a few years.  With my current work schedule I'm not sure that I would be able to get in to see a counselor.  I really need some advice for how to deal with this anxiety as it is beginning to really control my whole life.  Thank you!

DementedDoll
DementedDoll
I'm going to be a bit blunt here, but your anxiety and worry is not helping your situation, and recognizing that may or may not help. You need to start taking better care of yourself, for your own good and in case your grandmother needs you. You won't be able to help her if your nerves are jittery and you haven't slept. Taking care of yourself is the best way to be prepared. As for the care home situation, sometimes there is nothing you can do but present a reasonable argument. None of us has the power to change a persons mind. Perhaps you can ask your grandmother to side with you in your argument? It is, after all, about her.
carlyj1202
carlyj1202
I am so looking for the post in the Anxiety forum. I am so worried. I just want to say....Please get another Doctor!
Community LeaderMid
Mid
Take a moment to assess your well-being.

It's hard being a caregiver, harder being back-up when the caregiver is overwhelmed and does not see it.

All I can say is do the best you with what you have, and take care of yourself so you can make decisions calmly and with positive solutions.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Are there any other family members around? I was wondering why you are the next in line blood relative to take care of her. Do you have legal Power of Attorney over your grandmother's health decisions? I would go to other family members and discuss with them the best course of action to care for your grandmother. Worrying and stressing now sounds normal. Once you have a solid plan of action in place for her care, your worry and stress and anxiety will get better. You need to take actions.
luvpt08
luvpt08
Thank you everyone for your replies. I have made an appointment to see a counselor. My grandmother only has one living child and one grand daughter (me). She has other extended family but they aren't interested in helping with her care unfortunately.
foreverbeach11
foreverbeach11
I understand what you are going through. My momma is 90 years old and like you I worry about receiving "that" phone call. I have allowed it to affect my sleep and I constantly think about it. I have decided that I am worrying about something that has not happened. Whenever I start to think about negative things, I change my focus by listening to inspirational music or focusing on my work at hand. It takes a change of thinking and focus to overcome it for me. Maybe consider having a meeting with her primary caregiver and tell her your concerns and thoughts. Maybe this way it would alleviate some of your anxiety. Maybe write down what concerns you the most and have everything written out for the meeting so you will stay on topic. Many caregivers think that they are the only ones that know how to care for the person and no one else can do it better. Maybe consider counseling again and you will have to make time for it in your schedule. Our jobs will be there but make sure if you take time off that you have it approved by your supervisor. Wishing you the best.
luvpt08
luvpt08
thank you foreverbeach11. I have talked with her primary caregiver numerous times... she is not open to placing her in a facility or hiring care. I believe she is struggling with mental health issues. She wants to "guilt" me into moving in there and taking care of her full time but I simply cannot do that. I have a husband, full time job, and home to take care of. I am to the point that I think I am going to have to stop communication with them all together for the sake of my mental health.
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