Well lately I've been feeling really rough but today has been the worst I've had in a while. Today has just felt like all I've done is survive, which I know is valid but it just makes me feel awful. Last night I barely slept due to my stomach hurting terribly. It's been hurting all day and so is my entire body (I believe it's from tossing and turning all night) lately I've been feeling horribly guilty for thinking about anything that isn't a problem or an unchangeable thing or something bad I've done in the past. I really don't know how to explain it but I think it started due to me feeling bad for taking my attention away from the state of the world. I feel like I can't even take one small break for myself. When I do I feel bad very quickly after I do it. I'm so scared for night time because last night my brain was totally scattered in a bad way even though I had a pretty decent day. My whole day today has been pretty bad and lonely so I'm sure my thoughts are gonna be awful tonight. Even thinking like an hour or two into the future makes me feel panicked. All I can do is just take this one second at a time and come on here and see if anyone is on to give some support.
For the last three years there has been an increase of leaks that were almost worth gathering sliding glass doors from the roadside to cover with. I really didn't have any idea how to manage this. I would let my family know that I was on the bucket brigade, so couldn't join them if it was raining. They tookit as me joking about a smallleak. It's an old house, 1926. So damage had to be repaired as...
The weekend's just begun. I just felt exhausted all day and it's raining now so I'll curl up with my tea :)