Yeah, I feel this. My dad used to treat me like that, kind of. He made it clear on a fairly regular basis that I wasn't his favorite person.

He died when I was young, but to this day my relationship with him probably impacts a lot of my relationships with other people. It's hard to be told by people who are supposed to love you unconditionally that... they basically don't.

The best thing we can both do is remember the fact that our parents are not the center of the world, just like basically no one else is. In the scheme of things, your parents are nothing more than two people out of the billions that exist. Just because they feel a certain way or behave a certain way toward you doesn't mean everyone will. Your relationship with your parents doesn't have to be the most significant relationship in your life. There are people out there who will love you for you, and whatever your parents think is "annoying" about you might be the thing someone else loves most.

What do you need help with? We're listening here.

well, people skills hmmm?
volunteer work, working with others helping people is a great way to enhance your people skills and feel good doing it.. why not? cant hurt

"Guilt" and "Hate" are two emotions that I treat separately of whatever facts are tangled up with them. They are highly invasive emotions that can distort my perspective of any given situation. An analogy I like is that they are slime upon the glasses through which I view the world. I wash my glasses before I try to discern what it is I am looking at.

But that is me. . .

Gentle support while you find what works for you. For sure, it's a toughie.

Many people produce children, but not a clue how to be a parent. Sorry so many of us got defined in such negative ways during the years we had to accept their statements were truths. One of our jobs in recovery is to redefine ourselves. I watched people that I could use as models. Watched how they operated, and then had a new roadmap. Relationships are two way streets, which meant learning to initiate some calls. You'll figure it out. Comforting hugs in the meantime.

As you wrote this out, I hope it helped you to see that the problem is not yours.

What your parents say and do does NOT define you. You are responsible for what you say, do, and how you respond.

Ideas to help you reset your knowledge, skill, and ability to where it works for you, and show your strength. Stand in front of mirror, practice smiling until it becomes natural and saying hello, Pause. Breathe. Keep your shoulders back, and feel the strength of your smile and your hello.

Once you find the comfort of moving your mouth with words, when the anxiety tries to take over, put your shoulders back, breathe, and keep on going.

It is really hard to break a pattern of thought and keep it positive.

I would consider that the surrounding situation may have created their words, not your actions. Parents grew up with "children are to be seen, not heard". I had to learn to speak up.

You are not alone, and you can do this! Best wishes!