I am new here and have anxiety.  

My sister and I have just purchased a new home last month with our 70 something parents, which will allow them to stay with us part time and help take care of them until they need assisted living.  We have good jobs and pay all the bills here. They own another home but really are not rich, just very good with their money. This was supposed to be a great and good thing, still is.  We all love the new house.

My mother has taken over decorating the home, saying she is a master decorator (rolling my eyes) and we could not afford her is we didn't know her, got very controlling, throwing our things out and moving our stuff around everyday, even though we told her specifically not to. We even got into a big fight over putting a clock on the wall since she says it is plastic crap and she has something better to go there - we never know what time is LOL  We finding our things moved around or missing, we asked her and she claims she doesn't know, get upset and acts like she doesn't feel well.  Went out for awhile on a Sunday and came home and found out she went through my sister's desk, we had to go through all the trash and eventually found important papers in the trash, with passwords, etc on them.  She calls us hoarders every chance she gets, even though, all I have in my bedroom is a bed, two dressors and a blanket chest.  Thankfully, she won't touch my office or bedroom stuff but I had to rebuy a few kitchen items that she took to goodwill, without my knowledge.   Tried to put down boundary rules but doesn't work, she gets mad and says they are redoing their will and won't leave us any money unless they can do what they want even though we pay the mortgage and all the bills here.  We even started family counseling, not sure what good it will do. Been told by few people that she could have early dementia or bi-polar disorder but still seems ok for the most part. She does get tired at night and goes to bed at 8pm. We plan to have locks put on one one or two closests and I find that sad.  I know this is abusive and I felt like moving out of my new home couple times, after just a month.

Now I feel like they are treating us like business partners and asking us in exchange for money help in purchasing the house, that we already agreed to, they will not pay for anything else for the house, repairs, monthly bills, etc unless we sign some legal agreement saying they will not pay for anything else, monthly bills, home improvement, repairs, etc again as long as we own this home.  I guess some of this is fair since they are retired and have no income.  Just wondering why they want the legal document - I find it strange but maybe it is common, I just don't know.  My mother has done some nice things, can be very generous at times and they both act like they want to do this but at the same time, go on about how hard it is for them to pay on the house they signed off on at settlement, saying it is all their money they worked for all their life, which we understand completely.  My problem is the constant anger, yelling, disrespect, even mocking my voice/words. My anxiety is so bad now I am so stressed, feel like I can't relax, hungry but can't eat, constant stomach problems, lack of energy, even slightly depressed at times, etc.  Feel like we made a mistake and made a deal with the devil. And my mother now walks around grumpy, saying she misses her husband but won't go home to her other house.  My step-father has only stayed over night here twice in 6 weeks.  Just wonder what other people would think and do.  I know we made out bed and have to deal with it....