Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Anxiety Disorders
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Social Anxiety

gardenchic
gardenchic
I tried so hard tonight to go out to a Halloween party. I was all dressed up with a cute costume. just getting ready to leave my parents house (visited them for supper before the party) and then I started to panic. I started to cry in the middle of their drive way as I was walking to my car. I don't know what happened.
I had pumped myself up that I could go to this party (I knew a few people a little bit, not well, but I thought I would be ok). I kept telling myself I can do this, over and over. I wanted to prove to myself that I'm not afraid of doing things like this and I can live my life and have fun.
I'm so disappointed in myself. I really thought I could do it, but the fear of doing something wrong and saying something wrong was just so overwhelming. I stayed at my parents house and helped hand out candy instead, once I calmed down.
this seriously sucks. I just want to be a normal person, who doesn't freak out at the thought of going to a party with new people. is that too much to ask?
Community LeaderMid
Mid
You will have to push your self to face your fear head-on. Cry those tears, wipe em up, and keep moving.

Once you stop going forward, you usually stay stuck in the same pattern of thought. The only way to break it is to move your body and brain into a direct action plan. So what if you're scared (it could be excitement), anxiety is not specific to negative thoughts, it also happens with positive thoughts, so keep moving!

Best wishes, you did get up and move, help pass out candy. That's what you were ready for. Being dressed up is enough excitement for the night, it got you to moving!

Be proud of yourself for doing what you did, and for recognizing that you are experiencing anxiety.

You got this!
andrealambert
andrealambert
I have social anxiety as well and i knowhow hard it is. i really had tout on my armor and psych myself out to go to all the halloween parties went to this year.

I'm sober too, so socializing around drunk people has an extra level of awkward.

One thing that helps me a lot is keeping my smartphone with me and staring into it whenever I feel uncomfortable or no-one's talking to me. I take moment to tweet and Instagram my surroundings, check Facebook, and basically just stare at my phone whenever no one's talking with me as a social crutch and it totes helps. You can even access DS on a smartphone safari browser although it's hard to use as their is no app.

Sometimes you just have to be kind to yourself and allow yourself not to attend gatherings that bring to much anxiety. better not to go then go and have a bad time.
gardenchic
gardenchic
Thank you for the support. I keep telling myself its ok that I didn't go, and I can try again another day. I'm still disappointed the anxiety won. My mom said to focus on the social things I have done and am doing well (I'm taking a knitting class and photography class). That falling apart once in a while is ok. i'll get through this.
Perhaps it was the crowd I really wasn't comfortable with, a group of people a bit younger than me, who drink a lot. Think i'll try again one day soon, with a different setting.
nuwara2
nuwara2
Heck, dealing with anxiety doesn't mean forcing yourself to do something you don't actually want to do, or spending time with people you don't want to be with. A photography class or knitting class sounds much more enjoyable to me than a Halloween party with drunk people.

I understand your disappointment that you didn't do everything you hoped to, but don't forget about what you DID do. You found a costume and dressed up and got yourself to the driveway. That is progress, and therefore success. Every effort you make is another success.

Keep setting goals that are a little uncomfortable, but not overwhelming. You know how much you can handle. Just don't stop moving in the direction you want to go. That's how I overcame my fear of driving: Very slowly, but not stopped.

I'm wondering what your costume was...and whether you had fun handing out candy to the kids. Halloween is such a silly fun holiday.
gardenchic
gardenchic
my family tells me I expect too much of myself. and that I'm too hard on myself. Its hard not to be. I'm just afraid of using the anxiety as an excuse to be anti-social. that I will slide back into a rut and not "live", just hide. I've done that before. that's why I push myself, but I guess to hard this time.

btw, my I was dressed as a cute red devil for Halloween and yes I had a lot of fun handing out candy. :)
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