Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I hear you all loud and clear and I know that I need to get help for my drinking from people with experience. Also, that I have made the first step by recognizing that.
But what if the people I have dealt with are truly evil and enjoyed making me suffer?
It would be easier to blame myself and quit drinking. However, it is really hard for me to blame myself when I know that is not true. Besides all the trauma that I have experienced has been when I was sober... so how could I do the twelve steps if I haven't hurt anyone? I read the twelve steps and is that normally what motivates people to quit drinking -- harming other people?
The twelve steps should say that we forgive the people that harmed us...in my opinion. (Although what the people have done to me is unforgivable and I stay far away from them).
I honestly do not have that many shortcomings either -- other than when someone hurts me and there is nothing I can do about it I drink...and now it has become a way of life and homeostasis for my brain and body : (
Does this make sense and did anyone else have this problem? Can one just do some of the steps or alter parts of the steps? I really just need to be locked up and kept away from alcohol for a month or so!
But what if the people I have dealt with are truly evil and enjoyed making me suffer?
It would be easier to blame myself and quit drinking. However, it is really hard for me to blame myself when I know that is not true. Besides all the trauma that I have experienced has been when I was sober... so how could I do the twelve steps if I haven't hurt anyone? I read the twelve steps and is that normally what motivates people to quit drinking -- harming other people?
The twelve steps should say that we forgive the people that harmed us...in my opinion. (Although what the people have done to me is unforgivable and I stay far away from them).
I honestly do not have that many shortcomings either -- other than when someone hurts me and there is nothing I can do about it I drink...and now it has become a way of life and homeostasis for my brain and body : (
Does this make sense and did anyone else have this problem? Can one just do some of the steps or alter parts of the steps? I really just need to be locked up and kept away from alcohol for a month or so!
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I know this is stupid, but after not being able to find a job after graduation for almost two years, I ended up just taking an online teaching job because I couldn't find anything in my field. I was trying to get out of teaching and I feel so devastated. I felt this crushing feeling when I signed the paperwork and when I was in the meetings. I know that sounds so dramatic but it is how I felt. It...
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Tomorrow is National Massachusetts Day!Have you ever lived in or visited Massachusetts? If so, tell us what's great about the Bay State!
Best not to try and understand the steps before we take them, it works the other way around.
But trust me, it works ;o)
The steps are about stopping drinking, they're also about change. We learn to find and take responsibility for what's ours, leave everything else behind. We don't have to become saints or martyrs.
There is plenty of good advice in the literature and rooms of AA about dealing with these difficult situations - when the other man's faults seem much greater than ours. When all else fails, I find it's my attitude and beliefs that are the problem.
When we become convinced on the alcohol question, we're willing to undertake this difficult and ultimately rewarding journey. Good luck - it's a hell of a ride!
Sure one can do that. I did exactly that for 15+ years, doing the steps "my way". And I kept getting drunk.
It wasn't until I did all 12 steps, in order, to the best of my ability, under the direction of my sponsor, that I have been able to maintain continuous sobriety. July 4th marked 8 years.
As to your question -- "I read the twelve steps and is that normally what motivates people to quit drinking -- harming other people?"
Not me. I quit for selfish reasons. I could not stand myself anymore or what I was doing to my mind, body and spirit.
If you want to go the AA route, why don't you go to a meeting and check it out?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPMlMfHeCwE&feature=related
I bounced in and out of the program fro years before I finally ACCEPTED that I was powerless over alcohol (and it had NOTHING to do with the harm I brought to others or what harm they had brought to me). My life with alcohol was out of control and NO ONE but myself was poring it down my throat. I WAS THE ISSUE and I could not stop on my own.
the steps are ina particular order for a reason, and the BB will tell you that 'more will be revealed' as you work them.
this is a selfish program kemann, you do it for yourself, not for others. you do it because you don't want to live like you do anymore and you don't know how to stop/change it.
as many before me have said.. it works, if YOU work it.
forget others and focus on you and what you want out of life... even if that includes more drinking. its not ours or anyone elses place to say what is best, but you.
best wishes my friend.......
No, you don't have to be evil for the steps to work. More often than not, the problem is we think we're perfect ;o)
Get a sponsor who has been through the steps (and lives them) and let her take you through them.
EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE has questioned both the usefulness and applicability of the 12 steps before they plunged in. That is the very reason its suggested you have a sponsor to guide you thru them. Also you take ONE STEP AT A TIME.
YOU are absolutely NOT at fault for what has been done in the past to you. Children are the innocents. As adults we learn to take responsibility for the WAY we act and re-act to what is or has been done to us. In other words if you have been hit over the head with the club of verbal abuse your young life you need to learn HOW to put that club down as an adult and not continue to beat yourself up with it. We have a "part" in everything....allowing someone space in your head or life that should not be there, wanting to "get back" at someone who has hut you. All very valid and human emotions but also triggers for drinking.
After 30 days of sobriety if you haven't worked on the underlying reasons for your drinking you will go back to drinking...simple as that. That is why alcoholism is considered both a physical and mental illness.
It is how we react, that is all we have control over. Life is not fair and people can be kind, or horrible. No one is keeping a marker in the sky on who is getting theirs and who is being fair and all that stuff we seem to find so much importance with.
The key is to let is go-their cruelty is not about you anyway. You can choose to internalize it or have boundaries and take care of yourself regardless.