Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
The Swimming Pool
My journey to long term, quality sobriety in AA reminds me of playing around in a swimming pool. For years, I sat on the edge of the pool at the shallow end, kicking my legs in the water, splashing water at the other people in the pool. I enjoyed being around the fellowship and playing with my friends in the pool. But whenever the water got cold, and I got uncomfortable, I left the edge of the pool and wandered off, isolating, to do my own thing. And that usually meant trouble. Inevitably, I would be drawn back to pool side, where everyone was having a good time and enjoying life. Again, I would play and splash, but not really get in the water to experience the full effect of the swimming pool.
Eventually, something happened. I dont quite know what it was. Maybe I was tired of just being a hanger-on. Maybe I realized that the people in the pool where really have a good time, and seemed to be happy. Maybe I wanted what they had.
So I decided I would do whatever necessary to join the people in the pool. I decided I would have to climb to the hi-dive board, face my fears and jump in the pool. Climbing up the ladder to the hi-dive was very difficult. I was scared, I didnt like being so far up. I wanted to turn around, abandon my efforts, and give up. But something inside me kept pushing me to take one rung after another willingness, maybe. Finally, I was on the diving board. Now I was really scared. I was so far up. The pool was so far down there. Again, something urged me to walk to the end of the board.
I was poised at the end of the diving board at the jumping off place. Pushing my fears down, I turned to God, said a prayer that I would survive this, and literally took a leap of faith. I leapt off the end of the board. One big ol cannonball splash later, and I was completely and totally soaking wet, in the deep end.
Yes, the water was cold, but I survived. Yes, the water was deep, but I didnt drown. I was completely immersed in water. Others in the pool turned to look at me and cheered. They told me how happy they were that I had joined them in the water.
As I stayed in the water, it didnt seem as cold as before. I was getting used to buoying up and down with the water. I was getting comfortable.
A smile came across my face as I realized I was were I wanted to be. I was eventually taught how to swim the great lengths of the pool. I learned from others how to perform beautiful dives off that once scary diving board. And lo and behold, with time, it was I who taught other newcomers how to swim and how to dive.
This is how I live my life in AA. I am completely and totally soaking wet with sobriety (please pardon the pun, not intended). I participate fully in my recovery. Thats the only way I know how to do it. I had to get in the water.
My journey to long term, quality sobriety in AA reminds me of playing around in a swimming pool. For years, I sat on the edge of the pool at the shallow end, kicking my legs in the water, splashing water at the other people in the pool. I enjoyed being around the fellowship and playing with my friends in the pool. But whenever the water got cold, and I got uncomfortable, I left the edge of the pool and wandered off, isolating, to do my own thing. And that usually meant trouble. Inevitably, I would be drawn back to pool side, where everyone was having a good time and enjoying life. Again, I would play and splash, but not really get in the water to experience the full effect of the swimming pool.
Eventually, something happened. I dont quite know what it was. Maybe I was tired of just being a hanger-on. Maybe I realized that the people in the pool where really have a good time, and seemed to be happy. Maybe I wanted what they had.
So I decided I would do whatever necessary to join the people in the pool. I decided I would have to climb to the hi-dive board, face my fears and jump in the pool. Climbing up the ladder to the hi-dive was very difficult. I was scared, I didnt like being so far up. I wanted to turn around, abandon my efforts, and give up. But something inside me kept pushing me to take one rung after another willingness, maybe. Finally, I was on the diving board. Now I was really scared. I was so far up. The pool was so far down there. Again, something urged me to walk to the end of the board.
I was poised at the end of the diving board at the jumping off place. Pushing my fears down, I turned to God, said a prayer that I would survive this, and literally took a leap of faith. I leapt off the end of the board. One big ol cannonball splash later, and I was completely and totally soaking wet, in the deep end.
Yes, the water was cold, but I survived. Yes, the water was deep, but I didnt drown. I was completely immersed in water. Others in the pool turned to look at me and cheered. They told me how happy they were that I had joined them in the water.
As I stayed in the water, it didnt seem as cold as before. I was getting used to buoying up and down with the water. I was getting comfortable.
A smile came across my face as I realized I was were I wanted to be. I was eventually taught how to swim the great lengths of the pool. I learned from others how to perform beautiful dives off that once scary diving board. And lo and behold, with time, it was I who taught other newcomers how to swim and how to dive.
This is how I live my life in AA. I am completely and totally soaking wet with sobriety (please pardon the pun, not intended). I participate fully in my recovery. Thats the only way I know how to do it. I had to get in the water.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Oh I made it up the ladder of the high dive numerous times...it's just when I looked down at the water below, instead of diving, I'd take that slow descent of shame right back down the ladder.
All the others who were trying to get up the ladder would have to move to the side to let me pass & oh! the look of pity I could see in their faces! Poor dear chickened out! LOL!
I only jumped recently and although I'm just treading water right now, it's comfortable & relaxing and I know I'll be swimmin like a pro in no time! :)
So inspirational! Thank you for such a positive post!
Transformation into a more functioning person with a real set of emotions to be worked through took time!! Being convinced was a beginning to... not away from.
I spent many years valuing others much more than myself. Learning to live sober a process of Fellowship , step work, service all leading to a feeling of "Ok i trust now just a little bit, Whats next :)
Billy
Imagine my surprise when I saw this in my feed.
Imagine my disappointment when I saw this post was co-opted by a loser spammer selling safety accessories for swimming pools.
1-2
Actually I'm working on 15.
Change is hard. Saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new was extremely difficult for me to do but I am a better person for having done so. The 12 steps opened some doors for me and set me on a spiritual path that has been very enriching and enlightening. It just keeps getting better and better.
Thankyou for sharing!
God Bless