why do i hurt the ones who care and support me, im discraced with myself

Don't beat yourself up James!! I am sure everyone on here recognized what was going on with you at the time. Now....what's your plan? Do you have anyone in your life right now that can help support you in this battle? I am concerned about you and want you to be successful in this new journey you are on! No judgement here my friend! Hugs!

Maybe the best road to try is do everything you can to stay sober then you can start to pick up the pieces :)

Didnt notice anything offensive myself, but maybe im thick skinned :)

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i want to it seems impossible though, i delude myself n say i can drink in moderation but thats my head talkin shit to me..... im finding it hard to like any1 right now bcuz i fukin hate myself, how can i like others when i dont like myself? how are u any way i hope ur ok? JAY

Im good jay...stinking cold here in sunny Manchester...too much rain for a southern boy like me.

I hear you, "hate me, hate you, lifes crap....ah lets take a drink."like you say good if you can spot the lie in your head about booze/ drugs whatever...not always so easy to see it in the heat of the moment.

im off in to town for a coffee an a bite to eat, might take my mind of any stinking little thoughts that come up.

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I am good J! Thanks for asking! The fact that you care about how I am shows that you are a caring person. Now....you need to start caring about yourself. You are worth it!!! I have faith in that :-)!

manchester another local lad....uk all day....thanks lost nurse too i do care well i want to its hard sometimes tho when ya mind is consumed and clouded,,,thanks every 1

Here you go Jay...made me chuckle:

http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1356784/oxfam-shirts.jpg?w=500&h=444&l=50&t=40

Enjoy your day my friend

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Hello James,

Good to see you back and dont worry about anything that was said last week. Maybe you can see now that you need some help. A few people now and again can beat this problem on their own but most cannot do that. It all seems impossible to you now but that is only because you dont know what to do. Believe me when I say that you can be completely successful in turning your life around. However, it requires a bit of work on your part so why not make a start right now.

Google AA and have a look at their website and maybe you would be willing to go along to a few meetings in your area.

National Helpline

0845 769 7555
help@alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

nice 1 j, im too fucked up go to a meetin right now. thanks 4 being so understandin JAY

You are never too f$%&ed up to make it to a meeting. That, my opinion, is where you need to be
I will be there as well, considering g.
I have fallen off the wagon a couple of times lately. Shake it off and keep going.....you got this.

very true I know many ppl who came to aa meetings drunk the real question might be if you dont like the results your getting why not try something that is working for those of us who have been where your at. I E go to aa get a sponsor who has worked the 12 steps and ask them to take you thru the steps out of the BB cause your way isnt working. Just a thought I wish you well

what ur all sayin is right but i cant find it in me to go to a meeting, i dnt value my life n i think thats y i go on these ruthless drink n drug binges, n thats real shit im tellin ya, its not a sympathy thing i dnt do that, i appreciate all ur sayin but iv got massive resistance to these meetings right now, it may sound like i dnt wanna be helped but every swig i take is discusting and painfull but warming at the same time....mad ay, crazy this shit is insanity, deluded or is it deluded bcuz i know it but its like i forget it or is it that i dont care, but i do care other wise i wouldnt be on here. oh i dont know my head is all over the place

contradiction after contradiction i dont make sense do i?

many ppl need to geta break from alcohol thru detox or a rehab and then and only then for them can they take a honest look at themselves and wether they are alcoholic or not maybe thats you. I hope you find your truth.