Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
This post isn't so much about drinking. I'm just feeling a need to vent without judgement,which I don't think I can get from family..who I normally turn to during hard times. I've struggled with depression and addiction most of my life. Suicide attempts and rehab as a teenager,pill addiction and alcoholism since then as well. I'm going on three years sober though,so there's that. I turned to pills and alcohol as a way to cope..which as you all know only makes situations 10 times worse. Luckily I was able to come out of it and sober up before things got even worse. Just like everyone, I go through ups and downs. Right now I'm feeling like I am at a really low low. My depression has escalated. My urge to drink has been coming back almost full force. Even my urge to take pills has been arising. Then I realized something this morning that broke my heart. If it weren't for my kids,I truthfully do not think I would be here anymore. I think I would have given up. Even right now I feel that I would give up if not for them. I would never put them through the pain of losing their mother..but that's the only thing stopping me and that realization makes me so sad. I want to be happy not just for them,but for myself. I don't want to only be alive for them. I want to be alive for me. I honestly don't know how to get there. I've battled these feelings almost my entire life. I've tried medication,therapy,rehab, working out. Those things for me will temporarily help. And sometimes I will do well for a while. But it never fails that these feelings and urges come back so strongly and it takes everything I have to fight them and then I'm left emotionally tired and done. I can't imagine living the rest of my life this way. It's exhausting and I'm tired of it. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening. I just needed to get it out there.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
It sounds like you need alot of support and I found a mountain of support at AA meetings.
God Bless
I know people who grew up without parents. I know people who lost parents at an early age. They wish they had those parents another day.
Stay strong and good for you to come here and get it off your chest.
The older the kids got, the love shone back at me....they taught me how to eventually love myself. I still have very low days.....and I just put it out there, and thank God I had at least my children to live for.
I believe you will, and can get where you want to be.
Do you have mental health resources available? My 69 year old sister has 3 1/2 yrs and still learning how to live sober. Big hugs, Dianna
After three years, I went through a period where I met what seemed like resentment from others. I started to think the opposite of you, I wanted to live life just for me, and thought if it weren't for me, I'd want to die. Super arrogant, but even more so, there was a deep seeded insecurity there that I was ignorant of. I've since dealt with it, and want to be more interested in others now. The end result was less resentment from others.
I still am not at a point where I can confidently say I live my life for others all the time though, or as a goal. I know that is very important for long term stability, when taught selfishness will be the problem if I commit to it. Sounds like you are doing that pretty well though because of what you do for your kids.
I know you are going through stress and uncertainty it sounds like, but you thinking of your kids and wanting to continue for them is huge and gives me tons of hope.
Keep doing what you're doing, I'm sure the unsettling feelings will pass, living your life for others reminds me of what real responsibility is, thanks.