the alcohol was only the way I solved my problems. When I removed the booze I was left with all the feelings, fears, and a bunch of anger. I quit a million times only to fail because 1) I felt so bad I had to drink to hide again 2) I started feeling better and would think I can have a couple or 3), the worst one... was I am so jealous of the others that are drinking and I deserve one so I'm drinking. The key to me finally getting some time in soberity was that I have changed the way I look at me and at life. I don't want to drink, because I know it will change me back into the scared person afraid of my own reflection in the mirror.

What's the plan? Who is with you on the journey? How do you plan to get sober?

Ps it was so ironic but the depression and anxiety went away when I stopped drinking and started to be present and deal with life. It's magic

1is2 is right about the anxiety. It does ease up as you build up your will day by day. I remember day two with it feeling so fresh and starting to expose some raw emotions that I had been avoiding while drinking. I found my success has come from doing my best to take one issue at a time and look at it, learn from it, then let it go. Getting overwhelmed isn’t very productive anyway. Our minds want to learn new ‘tricks’ so by feeding it positive thoughts and reprogramming it into good habits the changes will happen. Not overnight but as steady as your daily sobriety. Like you, I thought I had destroyed my marriage. Now we are closer than we have ever been. Be honest and kind to yourself and good things will come your way. Bests. Ps. I thought I was drinking in secret too. The more I opened up to my wife, the more I found that the only person I was fooling was myself.

Good Luck!

God Bless

Great attitude irishfairy and wishing you continued success!

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/alcoholism/discussion/slightly-better-mess-today