Hello acinorev92,

Hopefully you got through the night and are still sober. It may be that you need to look at ways of dealing with life and all of the ups and downs that it brings, so that alcohol does not tempt you anymore.

There is a saying in AA that goes: If you sit for long enough in the barber shop you will get a haircut so maybe it would be a good idea to find alternatives to the bar. You have been through a lot of difficult things in life and there could be some unresolved issues there that counselling would help. The AA programme of recovery also gives you the tools for dealing with life issues but whether you go that route or not is up to yourself.

Keep posting here and remember that there is no problem that drinking will not make worse.

Alcohol was my coping mechanism for a long time. It was my default and was easy to short curcit my problems. But in the end the issues were still there when I sobered up... So I just stayed drunk in order to. " solve" my problems.

I pray you find good sobriety.
Hugs from here

1is2many

sounds familiar to me about a lot of us....we try and control but then the big book of AA says there will come a time when we have no defense against the first drink....that is why many of us use a prayer system to connect to our higher power.....we have no defense but there is one who has all power and that one is GOD may you find him now.....

hugs bill

I don't have a problem with bars or having alcohol in my home. But there have been a couple of times where I wanted to drink that shook me up. Not like in the first few weeks when I wanted to drink all the time, but after a year or two of sobriety. Scary -- and I had to stop and assess what was going on -- like what you are doing. I got back on track to my happy, normal, sober self. So will you.

Take care of yourself, get support when you need it, and know that you can make it through cravings -- they pass. Stay with it, okay?

It's an easy thing to do, numb ourselves with a drink or a drug and although I know you are hurting inside and hurting alot, it's that emotional pain that will make you stronger and help you grow.

A few years ago, my wife cheated on me and then asked for a divorce. I had a slip around the time that the divorce went through. I had been married for 24 years and was a few months shy of my silver wedding anniversery so yea, it hurt. That one drink I had tasted awful and I never drank again after that. I went to AA meetings instead.

Just remember that something good will come out of this, it always does. Over time my ex realized she had made a big mistake and she wanted me back but I would not take her back!

Hang in there because this too shall pass!

God Bless!

Being sober hurts sometimes, but we can better look at what is causing us to feel out of balance and what if anything we can do to get back to a better place. The difficult times make us more appreciative of the easier times in our lives.

You have great insight into what is causing your discomfort and I think you'll find your way through it without making an uncomfortable situation worse...What Ex said...

Yes I can relate. I have alcohol in my house (husband is a normie) and my friends outside of AA all drink socially. Most nights out to dinner someone at our table drinks. Always OK.
Last summer I struggled when a friend asked me to hold a bottle of wine, it was open, and it sloshed onto my arm. I wanted a drink --- in a real way. It passed but it scared me.
My sponsor said totally normal for an alcoholic, around booze, to have a reaction.
So perhaps you need to stay out of bars for a while?
Seperately, why were you in a bar? If there is a good reason to be there, outside of drinking --- great! But I personally wouldn't just go hang out in a barI I'd only go if there was a band I was going to hear, or a dinner I was having there, etc.
No just hanging in bars for this alcoholic.

I tried going to the bars every day after I got sober. That lasted for about 2 1/2 yrs. Then it was my birthday and I was camping right outside the door to the bar. What harm would it be to have a few drinks?

Well it took another 18 mos to get sober again (spurred on by a DUI)

I learned that I had to change playmates and playgrounds if I was going to stay sober. I started attending AA meetings kicking and screaming. Every behavior I let go of had scratch marks on it.

However, I have learned a new way of living. I hope you find yours.